A friend of mine said she was sad that I hadn't shared any good stories on my blog lately. Well, I hadn't really
There was a period of time, back in The Day, when McDonald's french fries used to be the bomb. They were the best fries on the planet hands down. They were yummy and nummy and satisfied even the hardiest of salt and grease cravings. They were fried in animal fat. Then I dunno, PETA got involved or people felt that wasn't healthy, whatever, but they changed to vegetable fat and now their fries are just okay.
But back in The Day I would swing by Mickey D's often and get an order of small fries. That was my snack. Also back in The Day you could throw a buck at McDonald's and get change back for french fries. Heck, I think they cost less than 50-cents. My point: it was a cheap snack. I used to date this guy whom we will call FF, which does not stand for French Fry. One time I was driving around with FF and pulled into McD's. I told him I was getting my french fry snack and asked if he wanted anything. He promptly ordered two big macs, a large fries, a soda, and an apple pie. I looked at him with my couple of bucks and asked if he planned to pay for that elaborate meal because I couldn't afford it.
Of course that set him off and went on a tirade about why did I invite him to lunch if I didn't have money, wherein I then I had to explain it wasn't lunch it was a snack and I was only getting french fries and would have gladly bought him some too. He then went on to tell me that people don't go to McDonald's to buy only french fries. Yeah. Well, maybe I'm not a person but I do. He replied that no I didn't. ??!??! How does one argue with that logic? Why would one even try?
FF was really into telling me what people did and by "people" he also included me. One time he was shaving his face with a real razor (because he was a real man, just ask him). He handed it over to me and asked me to shave his neck. I declined but he wouldn't take no for an answer. So finally just to keep the peace, I grabbed the disposable razor, held it to his neck and yanked upwards. He immediately went into a screaming fit over YOU DON'T SHAVE AGAINST THE GRAIN! I told him that I certainly did too and again his reply was no you don't. Well, blow me over with a feather and call me a cauliflower. How would I know how I shave myself?
*The Internet was down.
The Fine Print: Wait, which direction is that man in the photo shaving his neck?! No, FF doesn't stand for Feeling Fine either. All the everything's in the top photo by Basic Grey "What's Up" collection.