Friday, July 6, 2018

Surf or Die

Hi! My name is Dio and you might remembers me from previous blogging posts. Well, I'm here to tell you that my moms has been rilly rilly bizzie doing stoopid stuff, like not petting me! Can you beeleeve that wood happen?!

Well, sumtimez my moms goes to werk. You know what they are doing at her werk lately? They gibe you a cardboard box and tell you to go home.

I KNOW, RIGHT?!!!!!

Can you beeleeve that? Your very own cardboard box!!!! And you git to go home!!! How nice is that?!!

Sumhowz my moms doezn't think that is very nice. She sayz she has werked there for a bazillion years, like moor than I am old, but I'm not berry old, and she has sum cardboard boxes of her own at home already.

Anywayz, it is summers time now and that means you should go surfing! Surf or die! Surf or die! Here's a kitty cat and he is surfing.
Here's my moms and dads. They are dying.
The Fine Prints: kitty stamp by Pennys Black, weird exercise called Glide Fit and it makes you rilly rilly seesicks. Luv ya! -Dio

Wednesday, June 20, 2018

Keep Your Important Things Close

Yeah, so I'm not dead yet, big deal. I have a story to tell you!

I have a cell phone now after a good decade of cell phone avoidance. I'm not a big fan of carrying it with me everywhere. I feel stupid. Like there is no one I want to talk to so much that I need to carry a phone around waiting on them, especially when I'm at work.

I pointed that out to a coworker and she said, "Yeah, but your phone is like a mini-computer and it's expensive so you don't want to leave that in your office where someone could snatch it."
Based on that logic, the next time I have a stamp shindig after work you might catch me on campus carrying around a Big Shot all day.  That thing cost more than my phone and I'd really hate for someone to snatch it!
The Fine Print: Not that they'd know what to do with it... Stamps by Stampin' Up. Catch ya later! Peace, love, and die cutting. j

Sunday, April 15, 2018

Starving Children in Africa

I found myself dissecting a rotisserie chicken  to the Nth degree like I was an apocalypse survivor or perhaps a contestant on Naked and Afraid.  After I caught myself and had a good laugh I went back to blissfully wasting food, telling myself it isn't like there were starving children from Africa around.

That got me thinking the first time that line got used on me. It came from my paternal grandfather. You have to know that he was the head of his household and he served. Everyone sat down, said grace, and then he picked up a platter and filled it. You got the plate he filled for you.

You can bet that as a giant of a man used to a lifetime of manual labor, he put much more food on the plate than your average suburban kid needed. I remember my mom trying to curb his enthusiasm for piling our plates full. I also remember the withering slit eyed stare he gave her in return.

Anyway, there I was not cleaning my plate, which may be attributed to the massive quantities of food on it or it may be attributed to the fact that my grandmother insisted on making some mystery "relish salad" every meal. It was pink and lumpy and not something I would associate with food. My grandfather admonished me to clear my plate because there were starving children in Africa.

That stopped me in my tracks. I had to ponder that one. It did not compute. It went against all the other kid admonishments that I heard every day. You know, the ones about share your toys, help the less fortunate, blah, blah, blah...  But this... Now you're saying I have food and some kid doesn't, so I should eat mine up real fast????  It didn't seem real Christian.
Anyway, that's childhood for ya, filled with contradictory messages. And just so you know, I did clear my plate today. Twice. I did not share with any starving African children, but I did give some to a Siamese cat that was almost on death's door from hunger (or so she says).

The Fine Print: Stamp by Stampin' Up.

Saturday, April 7, 2018

I am a Lamp

I just got over a cold. Now I have asthma. This happens every spring, probably because I'm allergic to yellow and spring is full of yellow.

Anyhow, given the lack of oxygen situation, I decided for a career change. I'm gonna be a lamp for awhile. No breathing required.
The Fine Print: Stamps by Taylored Expressions, DSP and ribbon by Stampin' Up.

Friday, March 9, 2018

You've Cat to be Kitten Me!

So my name is Dio and Im the Guest Columnist today. My gurlfurend had a babie. So now sumtimez I gotta babie sit. I lurned that dozn't mean you get to sit ON the babie. Dat's too bad cuz the babie is nice and warm. And soft.
I also lurned that wen the babie cries, you go and get the babies mom. You find her and say, "Hey ladie, your babie is crying."

And here's a card my mom's furend sented her. That furend haz the bestest cat stamps. Well, my mom haz the bestest cats! Uh huh.
The Fine Print: Stamps by Art Impression. 

Tuesday, March 6, 2018

Dream Big

So last night I was trying to wake myself up enough to ask my husband to please pass the hole punch that was on his side of the bed. Once I was awake enough to actually form the words, I realized that I was not crafting. That said, I did lean over him and check to see if he was hoarding craft supplies on his side of the bed though.  He was not.
The Fine Print: Bra die by MFT, greeting by Hero Arts.

Monday, March 5, 2018

The First 3 Letters Spell 'DIE'

Since I've been asked multiple times if I'm dead or not, I thought I'd respond to let you know that I'm not dead, but things were touch and go there for awhile.

A few weeks or so ago I went through a spate were I was really tired all the time. I'd wake up tired, I'd go to bed tired, I'd spend all day tired... and I wasn't just tired, I was exhausted.

I mentioned it to a coworker of mine who keeps track of what I'm doing (someone has to) and she said she noticed I'd been eating less and she had a theory on all my tiredness: You're spending more energy each day than you are taking in.

So I just looked at her for a long time before muttering that she had obviously had no idea how diets work.*

In fact, I know she doesn't understand how diets work because her idea of a diet is to Google some celebrity name and eat whatever fad diet they are pushing that day. You know, like the cabbage soup diet for heart patients or the 6-apples-a-day-and-all-the-apple-juice-you-can-drink-diet, only if you don't actually have cabbage or apples in your house you can substitute Snickers bars and Oreo cookies.

Anyway, I'm not dead and I got over the 24/7 tiredness except for today. Today I am tired. I went to bed tired and I woke up tired and I even dreamed that I was tired! In my dream, I woke up tired and went to work anyway because if I didn't I couldn't go swimming after work and then that's exactly what happened. Well, almost.. I mean I'm still at work so I haven't gone swimming yet, but that's the plan.

Oh yeah, here's a card, cuz this is a card blog:

The Fine Print: *Yes, it's true, there is 19 less pounds of me than there used to be. Also, I'm tired today because I went to a stamp convention yesterday and it was awesome! But I was ON all morning and ON all afternoon and ON most of the evening and as a introvert all that ON is tiring. Leafy stamp by Stampin' Up and has been languishing in my pending file for however long it has been since I haven't posted it. I might post more unless I die because I fell asleep swimming, but either way don't hold your breath because I'm not, not even when I go swimming because I don't really swim when I'm swimming.