Monday, September 24, 2018

Queen of the Hive

Sometimes I break out in a rash, and by "rash" I mean hives, and by "hives" I mean one.

One hive.

Like just one lone bump that is insanely itchy. One might be persuaded to call that a bug bite, but they'd be wrong.

Seriously, I'm just too lazy to make more than one itchy bump at a time.

#EczemaRules #NOT!

The Fine Print: Stamp by Copperleaf, wee little bees by Recollections. Rash by Nature, who is a mother. 

Thursday, August 30, 2018

Pucker Up!

*kiss*kiss*

So good to see you again. Blogger recently asked me if I was around and intended to use my blog anymore. I thought, of course I am still around.... Gee, maybe I'd better inform my readers (all 6 of you) that I am still alive and kicking and employed.

See, Dio told you a story about how at my work they were giving out boxes (a very desirable commodity if you are a cat) and telling you to go home. That wasn't fiction; they truly are doing that. So far they haven't done that to me. And that's good because I'd need more than one box and a dolly and I'd have to get on our elevator which is scary even on good days.  So not only am I still here (Blogger), I am still here (my job). I've said goodbye to a number of coworkers including my boss. Being bossless was scary (almost as scary as that elevator) because my job title says I'm suppose to support someone and if there is no someone... why have me?  Oh! Because I'm cool, that's why!

They stole me a boss from another job site though so it's all good now. She's in charge of all sorts of things I haven't dealt with before so I'm learning all sorts of new stuff, including that being the go-to person for years for answers on what do know about is paying off as I know can ask for info in return and be happily given it.
Me, being supportive.
The Fine Print: Mousie stamp by Stampabilities or whoever was in charge of House Mouse at the time I bought it. Smile from my stash. And if I'm given a box right after I post this.... I'm blaming y'all! 

Friday, July 6, 2018

Surf or Die

Hi! My name is Dio and you might remembers me from previous blogging posts. Well, I'm here to tell you that my moms has been rilly rilly bizzie doing stoopid stuff, like not petting me! Can you beeleeve that wood happen?!

Well, sumtimez my moms goes to werk. You know what they are doing at her werk lately? They gibe you a cardboard box and tell you to go home.

I KNOW, RIGHT?!!!!!

Can you beeleeve that? Your very own cardboard box!!!! And you git to go home!!! How nice is that?!!

Sumhowz my moms doezn't think that is very nice. She sayz she has werked there for a bazillion years, like moor than I am old, but I'm not berry old, and she has sum cardboard boxes of her own at home already.

Anywayz, it is summers time now and that means you should go surfing! Surf or die! Surf or die! Here's a kitty cat and he is surfing.
Here's my moms and dads. They are dying.
The Fine Prints: kitty stamp by Pennys Black, weird exercise called Glide Fit and it makes you rilly rilly seesicks. Luv ya! -Dio

Wednesday, June 20, 2018

Keep Your Important Things Close

Yeah, so I'm not dead yet, big deal. I have a story to tell you!

I have a cell phone now after a good decade of cell phone avoidance. I'm not a big fan of carrying it with me everywhere. I feel stupid. Like there is no one I want to talk to so much that I need to carry a phone around waiting on them, especially when I'm at work.

I pointed that out to a coworker and she said, "Yeah, but your phone is like a mini-computer and it's expensive so you don't want to leave that in your office where someone could snatch it."
Based on that logic, the next time I have a stamp shindig after work you might catch me on campus carrying around a Big Shot all day.  That thing cost more than my phone and I'd really hate for someone to snatch it!
The Fine Print: Not that they'd know what to do with it... Stamps by Stampin' Up. Catch ya later! Peace, love, and die cutting. j

Sunday, April 15, 2018

Starving Children in Africa

I found myself dissecting a rotisserie chicken  to the Nth degree like I was an apocalypse survivor or perhaps a contestant on Naked and Afraid.  After I caught myself and had a good laugh I went back to blissfully wasting food, telling myself it isn't like there were starving children from Africa around.

That got me thinking the first time that line got used on me. It came from my paternal grandfather. You have to know that he was the head of his household and he served. Everyone sat down, said grace, and then he picked up a platter and filled it. You got the plate he filled for you.

You can bet that as a giant of a man used to a lifetime of manual labor, he put much more food on the plate than your average suburban kid needed. I remember my mom trying to curb his enthusiasm for piling our plates full. I also remember the withering slit eyed stare he gave her in return.

Anyway, there I was not cleaning my plate, which may be attributed to the massive quantities of food on it or it may be attributed to the fact that my grandmother insisted on making some mystery "relish salad" every meal. It was pink and lumpy and not something I would associate with food. My grandfather admonished me to clear my plate because there were starving children in Africa.

That stopped me in my tracks. I had to ponder that one. It did not compute. It went against all the other kid admonishments that I heard every day. You know, the ones about share your toys, help the less fortunate, blah, blah, blah...  But this... Now you're saying I have food and some kid doesn't, so I should eat mine up real fast????  It didn't seem real Christian.
Anyway, that's childhood for ya, filled with contradictory messages. And just so you know, I did clear my plate today. Twice. I did not share with any starving African children, but I did give some to a Siamese cat that was almost on death's door from hunger (or so she says).

The Fine Print: Stamp by Stampin' Up.

Saturday, April 7, 2018

I am a Lamp

I just got over a cold. Now I have asthma. This happens every spring, probably because I'm allergic to yellow and spring is full of yellow.

Anyhow, given the lack of oxygen situation, I decided for a career change. I'm gonna be a lamp for awhile. No breathing required.
The Fine Print: Stamps by Taylored Expressions, DSP and ribbon by Stampin' Up.

Friday, March 9, 2018

You've Cat to be Kitten Me!

So my name is Dio and Im the Guest Columnist today. My gurlfurend had a babie. So now sumtimez I gotta babie sit. I lurned that dozn't mean you get to sit ON the babie. Dat's too bad cuz the babie is nice and warm. And soft.
I also lurned that wen the babie cries, you go and get the babies mom. You find her and say, "Hey ladie, your babie is crying."

And here's a card my mom's furend sented her. That furend haz the bestest cat stamps. Well, my mom haz the bestest cats! Uh huh.
The Fine Print: Stamps by Art Impression.