O is for Older Than Dirt

The Sisterhood of Snarky Stampers is asking us to celebrate those of certain advanced age..., those who have taken many trips around the sun...., those who are over the hill but not yet under it..., you know, the old farts.*  And it just so happened that I was in need of a birthday card and this mildly snarky and grumpy creation was born.

This is one of those Flap Fold cards that came from Splitcoaststampers. They are fun because they give you extra space to decorate but a little bit frustrating in that you have to find small enough stamps for the circle.

The inside greeting reads "another birthday, another gray hare!"

* Old fart--anyone older than me, of course.

The Fine Print: Gray hare creature and greeting by Taylored Expressions "Party Grumplings," fancy HB greeting, punches and designer paper by Stampin' Up.

Z is for ZOWIE!

Or perhaps Zoo.  That's it; that's the one I meant.  This week over at the Snarky Sisters of the Secret Snazzy Stamperhood or whatever they call themselves now the challenge is to get down with your badass wild self and embrace God's creatures.

I opted to use a cow for my zoo creature.  What do you mean you've never seen a cow in a zoo?  What kind of sad little life do you live that you've never been to a Petting Zoo??!??!  There's always one giant docile cow or Brahma bull patiently lying there eating corn from little kids' hands and thinking thoughts filled with homicidal rage.

So cows it is.  As you wonder the great cow pasture of life, may your days be full of wit and your shoes free from....

holes

The Fine Print: "Farm Fun" stamps by A Muse Studio (retired) and feces by Hawaii'an Baby, fence punch by Martha Stewart, green paper from my stash, and cloud paper by A Muse Studio (also retired).

To B or not to B

Over at the Sisterhood of Snarky Stampers the latest alphabet challenge is all about the Letter B.  The letter B can stand for many things: bourbon, bongos, blowtorch, bursitis, burlesque... But this time it stands for Brads or Buttons.

Here's Edna (Queen Bee of Snarky Sisters) surrounded by buttons and brads and Brads.  I know the one Brad is Brad Spit but am clueless who the other Brad is.  But I do know all about buttons and brads so I'd best go that route.  I hope I don't get any backlash because I did only one button.

Behold my one button prominently displayed to be seen by billions! What do you mean you see three little white buttons?  Those aren't buttons! Those are brads!  I'm talking about the button that is in the middle of the card.  By gosh, you still don't see it?  How about now?

Yes! I chose the Belly Button for this challenge.  Those button shaped brads, that's just coincidence.

The Fine Print: Stamp by Door County Rubber Stamps, button brads by unknown, "scallops" created with an EK Success circle punch, and paper from my stash.  Quit yer belly achin' you baby, that right there, that's comedy. Hubby says the other Brad is Bradley Pooper.

E is for Earwax

My bad.  E is for EMBELLISHMENT!

That's what is happening over at the Sisterhood of Snarky Stampers this time around. I know we're all embellishing fools, so c'mon over and join us in this week's challenge.  There will be snark a'plenty there, but it is not required.  And this time around I get to be a guest designer.  Check it out:

I don't know if my faux postage stamp counts as an embellishment or not, but I have some ribbon, a cat-eye button, twine, flourishes and the best embellishment ever--scoopable cat litter!  Don't worry, it is fresh from the package.

Or is it?

Here's the inside greeting.

The Fine Print: Poop Poste by unknown, kitty and poop stamps by Paper Smooches, ribbon by DeNami, flourish from MFT, label die by Spellbinders and designer paper by unknown. 

Q is for Queen

Indeed, Q is for Queen and I got a promotion from Princess when I was named The Queen of Snark over at the Snarky Sisters blog for my card named Fred who had a fancy fold.  I think that is really neat especially since I was so sick the day I made that card. I couldn't duplicate that card so easily again while well and that makes me laugh.  And laughing makes me cough, but that's another story.

Fred

That isn't the only queenly activity in these parts though, oh no.  This time around the Sisterhood of Snarky Stampers has a new alphabet challenge and that is Q is for Queen.  Here is my Queen.

And isn't he a right nice Queen too?!  He has his glittery tutu on, some fahh-bulous eyeshadow and a crown in case you were unaware of his Queenly status.  Remember folks, it isn't the size of the wand; it is the magic in it. Put your snarky crown on and come join us for this fun challenge.  Snark not necessary.

The Fine Print: Fred card stamps by Stampin' Up and Great Impressions; Queen card stamp by Rubber Baby Buggy Bumpers, glitter by Stickles, crown brad by unknown.  Stay tuned for the next snarky challenge where I get to be guest designer.  How exciting!

Snarkalicious!

All Hail Me--the mighty Princess of Snark!

 

How ' bout them apples? I got honorable mention AKA Princess of Snark over at the  Sisterhood of Snarky Stamps blog.  I got this award for my loverly public service announcement warning people to not to accept false Leprechauns before them.  This was for their "P is for Paddy" challenge.

This time 'round the Snarky Sisters bring you the Letter F, with F being for Fancy Fold (that's actually a double F).  Everyone put their pinky in the air so they can be fancy!

Believe me, this card has several fancy folds in it. I'm not sure what this type of card is called so we'll call it the Fancy Fred Fold for triple F action.  A stamping buddy of mine saw this Fancy Fred Fold card online somewhere and figured it out how to duplicate it all by her little own self.  Her version was from a 7" x 9" piece of cardstock.  I thought that was a little too tall so I chopped mine down starting with a 6.25" x 9" paper.

I didn't really know how to take a photo of this card to show off the different folds, so you have a couple different views here so you can see the big picture.  Now I know you are wondering what is it that makes this card so snarky?  Lemme tell you! You know how some cards are made with love?!! Well, this card is made with germs, unhappy snotty germs.  So someone will get this sweet card in the mail that they think is filled with happy when really it's a biohazard.

The Fine Print: No seriously, I've totally caught the creeping crud.  Garden stamp by Great Impressions, greeting by Stampin' Up "Yipee Skippee" set, border punch by Martha, greeting die by Spellbinders "Labels 16," flowers by Prima and other stuff from my stash.

Important PSA: Saint Paddy's

I have a Public Service Announcement of an important nature. Of course, being a crafty sort I put my notice into card format:

'Tis true, my wee lass, beware of strange men in green bathrobes claiming to have a leprechaun for you to kiss.

Time to hook up with my lovely Sisters in Snark,

whose challenge is brought to us by the letter "P."

The Fine Print: Creepy man and greeting stamps by Hambo, designer paper from K&Company, and bling by Hero Arts.

Horsin' Around with the Letter U

Over at the Sisterhood of Snarky Stampers, they are doing their second challenge which is U is for unused--how I prefer my toilet tissue.

They gave us a couple of other rules loose guidelines as well ("rules" sound so totalitarian).  They said you were to dig deep into your stash and find something that you have never used or haven't used in so long that you've darn near forgotten about it. 

I have a brand new stamp that I bought just for its silliness/snark factor but even though it is unused I didn't feel that it was in the correct spirit of this challenge.  So I dug out this previously used yet long forgotten stamp and stamped it instead.  I know it isn't heavy on the snarkiness but I thought it was different enough to work.

Inside greeting:

And frankly I was horsin' around last night and being far to lazy to look for an unused snarky stamp but you can bet your boots I have one.  Or six.  Or possibly even a dozen.  Well, that might be pushing it a bit.

The Fine Print: Stamps by Copper Leaf Creations, papers and ribbons from my stash.

Sisterhood of Snarky Stampers

So imagine my glee when I found a new blog on the block called the Sisterhood of Snarky Stampers.  I had to check them out right away as they sounded like my kind of folks.  They are doing their inaugural challenge right now through February 21st, so you have plenty of time to put on your evil head and let you inner snark fly!

As you see, the theme is the ANTI-Valentine and after so many Valentine challenges I am very tickled to have this one to play in.  I have wonderful snarky ideas rolling around in my head and I allowed one of them to come to fruition.  It involves conversation hearts...

..remember those chalk flavored little hearts with their sweet words of wisdom on them?  Yeah, these are so much better.  Happy VD* to y'all!

The Fine Print: Heart outline stamp by DeNami Designs, flourish by Magnolia, ribbon from A Muse Studio, designer papers by Martha Stewart because you know I just had to bastardize something by Martha for this challenge.  I did tone it down some though and rejected the "LMP DCK" heart.  * VD = Valentine's Day you silly.  Don't let that herpes heart go to your head!