Cooties

ARGH! I have bugs on my skin! They are eating me alive! BUGS! BUGS I TELL YOU! ARGH! <throws self on ground> <rolls around>

The Fine Print: Card topper by Club Scrap. People and their cooties should be shot before they infect the rest of us. 

It's Hand Did

I thought I'd share another card with a dragonfly brad on it, because why not? I used to think that these cards made with card toppers was cheating because really all you do it put it together but since then I've been shown the light. As a Viva Las Vegas rubber stamp once said, "Hell, Honey, it's hand did!"

The Fine Print: Designer paper and topper by Club Scrap, other stuff from my stash. I swear I do still stamp from time to time, just not this week. 

Yo' Mama

The regular switchboard operator was off work yesterday which left me manning the phones all day except for those moments when I could con someone else into doing it. It was Friday so usually that means a slower volume of calls and it was. But it also was "have your mother call" day.

It doesn't matter if you are 8 or 80, once you enroll at college you are covered by some privacy laws that state I don't care if this lady did push you out of her vagina after 32 hours of labor, I can't tell her anything about you.* I do try to help in general terms... "Anyone trying to enroll in a class that already started needs to obtain the instructor's permission in writing." or "Mr. Long teaches the Monday-Wednesday math class at 12:10."  But really I can't help but wonder why it is mom calling. You need to learn to do this stuff on your own. It truly will help you later in life even if you flunk out of college.

I was joking with my coworkers about how dependency on momma works, "Come now, honey, we've got to go pick out a ring so you can ask that nice girl to marry you."  And then I stopped. That's not a joke because I had a coworker who married a man she met via an ad in a singles newspaper (this was before the internet was born, kids). Later she learned it was momma who placed the ad in the first place. By that time she'd already discovered that Mr. Right couldn't or wouldn't make his own decisions about anything and expected her to do everything. She left him to his momma and everyone lived happily ever after (probably).

* Except for directory information. I can say yes enrolled, no not enrolled and part or full time. So if you took your momma's money and ran you'd better check the "do not release directory information" button.

The Fine Print: Card topper by Club Scrap, designer paper by DCWV, everything else from my stash. You're probably not really on my mind. It's probably your mom I'm thinking of. 

Great for Meditating

My friend sent me this card the other day and it put a huge smile on my face. You know and she knows that I like all things cat so the subject matter was a winner in my book.

But the thing that really made me smile is that I opened it upside down so it looked like this:

I'm quite sure this is one of the poses that my yoga teacher tries to get us into and then tells us it would be great to hang out and meditate in.

The Fine Print: Cats are yoga masters by the way. 

Sherbert Card

I have this card to share with you and it makes me think of sherbert. I like sherbert a lot and insisted on it as a kid, which is tough because people always try to placate kids with ice cream, which is not sherbert. You can't fool me, buddy.

The Fine Print: Something in ice cream bothers my asthma which is why you can't pass it off on me and no, I'm not lactose intolerant. That's a whole other ball of mucus. Stamps Stampin' Up "Feather Together," inks from Memento, and embossing folder retired SU. 

Early Onset Senility

Did you know that today is not Monday? Nor is it the 24th. I thought it was both Monday and the 24th but it turns out it is neither. Then I go and look at the last entry I posted and I didn't know what day it was then either.

It can only be one thing: Early Onset Senility. It was bound to happen sooner or later. *sigh*

The Fine Print: It is also still January, which I knew because that thing just will. not. end. Card and pars by Club Scrap except the dies which are Memory Box, which cracks me up since mine is obviously broken. 

Huh?

I got to work today incredibly confused by the fact that it was Monday. Had I truly been gone for two days? I felt like I had just been here but at the same time it seemed weirdly unfamiliar like I'd been gone for weeks.

That's not all that's confused me lately. I watched some news program only because it happened to be right in front of my face and I was captive. It talked about President Trump's first day on the job. I swear it sounded like this: he walked down a hall, he turned left, he went into that room, he sat on a couch, he met some people, he went into another room... Holy shit, are we going to get a blow by blow of his mundane doings? Is this what passes for news? It'll be like the boringest reality show in history.

And furthermore can you imagine if your first day on the job was analyzed like that? People would be wondering why they hired me since I showed up the first day of my job without a wallet. No idea how that managed to happen. I also got counseled by my new coworkers that 8:40 was the best time to show up and find close up parking spaces.  Mind you we opened for business at 8:15.

The Fine Print: Stamp by Stampin' Up, designer paper by My Mind's Eye "Indie Chic." 

Black and White--It's Alright

There I was moving random things around on my craft desk today when I ran across a triple flip card base that I die cut several months ago and then rejected for being too white. Since the card base was totally usable I left it on my desk and moved it from one pile to another. I'd uncover it from time to time but it never inspired me.

Until today! When I found it today I immediately felt that it needed to be made into a black and white card. For a little while there I toyed with the idea of making the flowers hot pink for a pop of color, but my desire to have it be just black and white persevered.

After dinner I sat down at my computer and started visiting some blogs and ran into one black and white card after another. I thought it interesting that we all got called by the same muse. Only, it turns out that everyone else' muse was the latest Double D challenge. I was adamant that I wasn't influenced by it until I decided to join it and went over it. Yeah, I remember glancing at those cards before and I'm sure my subconscious latched onto Kathy's card. So thanks, everyone for helping me finally use this card base that has been languishing for so long!

The Fine Print: Card base and layering die by Sizzix, designer paper by DCWV, greeting by Stampin' Up, paper flowers by Prima, black and white brads from my stash.

So Cool It's Frozen

I was going to say that I was under the weather today but that saying means that I'm sick. I'm not sick. It's just that the weather has gotten on top of me (ergo I'm under it) and froze me to the bone. I'm not a fan of inclement weather which is why I live in a desert where we do mostly hot and sunny. Once in awhile we do rainy and sunny which is always an odd thing. In the winter months we often do cold and sunny. As long as it is "and sunny" I'm usually down with it. I haven't seen the sun in at least eleventy-eleven hours now. Sad panda.

The Fine Print: More Club Scrap stuff from the closet except that ribbon by SU. 

TGIF

This is me using my new fox punch and critters stamp set. There are lots of sweet creatures you can make with this. The hard part is deciding what to do with them once you make them. I just slapped Mr. Fox on a card and called him good.

The Fine Print: I'm pretty sure everything is by Stampin' Up (except the ink) even that random greeting. I like how matchy matchy SU's stuff is so when I can I use it together. Since I'm getting more organized I can find the SU parts easier. Didn't find the matching ink though, probably because I only own the mint color. :-) 

Trickery

This card reminded me of being a little kid and playing with random bits and pieces. It's a work of trickery though, the flower is really a chipboard piece printed to look like random bits.

The Fine Print: I got nuthin' for ya except to say I cut the grass with those funky fringe scissors that my friend says were originally made to be a 'personal shredder'. Try that out sometime. It's a lot of work. 

Up on the Rooftop..

This week Merry Monday wants us to make a card with a reindeer on it. Well, that was really easy peasy, because my Nordic card from last week had a reindeer on it and I never got around to sharing it. Here it is:

I felt that might be taking the easy way out and since the goal is to make one card a week and have a bunch come holiday time, I made a second reindeer card. I was too lazy to drag anything new out so it bears a resemblance to the first card, minus the Nordic paper, which I had already put away.

This one is actually notecard size since I had this spotted notecard lying around. The paper used for the snow is shimmery. I would say that I'm not feeling the love and excitement for making Christmas cards this year like I did last year but the reality is I'm not feeling the love or excitement for making any cards right now. I might be having a funk!

The Fine Print: Stamps and dies by Stampin' Up, except the landscape dies by A Muse Studio, Nordic holiday paper by Basic Gray, twine from my stash. 

The Other Three

The other day I mentioned something about something about how I made my own version of the serving suggestion from a kit since I lacked the stamps. I lacked the stamps because I didn't much care for them so I sold them. The funny thing is that most of the serving suggestions given didn't use them either. Could be that I was not alone in finding them non-appealing.

So these are the other three I made following their samples. Then I made a several more cards along these same lines. Of course I'll show them to you. Just not today.

The Fine Print: Cardstock by Bazzill, designer paper by My Mind's Eye "Indie Chic,", sticker letters by Basic Grey, felted flowers by Maya Road, and greeting banners by unknown. Look ma, still no stamping!

Kit Stuff

Right after I gave up making tag cards (see yesterday's post) I pulled out another mystery box from my closet. It was an old Simon Says Stamp kit of the month club minus the stamps and with some coordinating bits from my stash added in.

It still had the "serving suggestion" directions for 6 cards using the kit. Lacking the stamps and using what I had, I used that as a guideline and came up with my own version of those 6 cards. There here are three of them (gotta have some suspense for the next day!).

The last card has the word "Amazing" on the inside of it since I know you are dying to know what I think you are.

The Fine Print: Cardstock by Bazzill, washi tape and designer paper by My Mind's Eye "Indie Chic,", stickers letters by Basic Grey, felted flowers by Maya Road, and cloud die by MFT. Look ma, no stamping! 

Wild Tag Art

So I was poking around in the depths of my craft closet and I found four sheets of punch out tags with various sayings on them. The four sheets all had the same tags on them and came two different colors. I figured I should at least use one of the sheets and I set to work making these.

For some reason I felt the need to include a wild animals theme along with these tags. As you can see my version of "wild animal" is pretty tame.

I ran out of steam after 3 cards but at some point I may just finish off that sheet of tags.  I am kind of pondering one of the tags though, thinking maybe I should cut off who said the quote. He's kind of a controversial figure these days but back when these were printed he was just a run of the mill millionaire businessman.

The Fine Print: tags by Club Scrap, giraffe stamp by Magenta, wee lion by CTMH, water buffalo die by Nellie's Choice, other stuff from my stash.

Using Extreme Good Taste

My big stamp club has a card exchange coming up in which we are to use nudes. However, it is supposed to be in good taste. These are to be classy nudes with good breeding and impeccable manners.

Nailed it!

The Fine Print: Stamps by Hambo, shamrock punch by EK Success, oval dies by Spellbinders, other stuff from my stash. 

Tommy T

Except for shivering all day yesterday  (it's cuz we had a couple 80 degree days so the powers that be turned the air conditioning to the summer setting even though the forecast said it was just a fluke), I had a really wonderful day.

That is until I had to go home. I hobbled out to the parking lot (I hurted my foot) and groaned when I saw the ridiculous truck I had to drive home in:

This thing is a tank only I suspect tanks are less rattly and have a better turn radius. Anyway, this is the rental car I'm driving for the next few days while my truck gets fixed (Tommy T Toyota got backed into in a parking lot). I need to weigh another 200 pounds, have 3-5 uncontrollable kids, and fill the inside with fast food wrappers and soda cans before I can do this truck justice. It's all about excess... it takes up excess space, it requires excess gas to drive, and takes an excessively long time to stop.

I can't wait to get my cute little Tommy T Toyota pick up truck back. In fact I might have a homecoming party for him when he comes back and give him this card. Maybe I'll even reward him with extra premium gas.

The Fine Print: Tank by Nissan, red truck and sunshine by Taylored Expressions, flower ribbon from A Muse and chevron paper from my stash. 

Happiness is...

...adhesive that works.

If you pay attention to the words I put on my blog you've more than likely heard me mentioning the adhesive my friend gave me. This friend cleaned out her craft room as she neared the end of her terminal disease and she bequeath certain items to certain friends.

I got the adhesives because I was always bringing make and takes for our group to make. When I say I got the adhesives I don't mean I got a couple rolls of foam tape, 5-6 tape rollers and refills, a roll of tear tape, and a bottle of glue. I mean I got a 20-gallon trash bag shoved full of all of the above and then some.

There had been some suspicion that our friend was a bit of a hoarder but this really brought that notion home. Now that I've had several months to play with her adhesives let me tell you why you need to stop hoarding them right now.  To say it succinctly and to the point: THEY DON'T STICK LATER!

Many of the liquid glues had solidified in their bottles rendering them useless. Most of the foam tape had lost the ability to stick, so much so that even the liner fell off. I threw away dozens of dispensers of regular cello tape and double stick cello tape because it was hopelessly stuck to itself and/or covered in fuzz. You'd stick something together with roller tape and come back to it later and find that it had fallen off. That is, if the roller tape rolled in the first place. One day alone I went through 8 different rollers that would roll for an inch or two and then just break off.

What is the point of keeping all that if it is just going to be useless later? It takes up valuable space and makes you look bad when you keep sending "some assembly required" cards. I've thrown over half of what I was given away already, but when I pulled out the card above and the inside fell off, I decided that the other half needs to be tossed as well. It was a nice gesture but it just isn't working for me.

The Fine Print: The inside of the card reads: Having a friend like you. It is now safely secured with a newer roller tape (I say newer because I haven't used any of my adhesives for months because I've been using the gift stuff). Card parts by Club Scrap. 

Say What You Mean

In the last 10 days or so I've had 3 different people hit me up with "action statements." What's that you ask? Well, that's when someone makes a statement, but it isn't just any statement, oh no. It has far more meaning than a mere statement. They expect you to follow it up with some action even though that's not what they said.

Example One: "Judy, I'm going to be in your neighborhood this weekend." See, it's a statement. My answer of, "Oh" was completely appropriate, but not really. I'm sure the person telling it to me meant for me to say... well, something. "Great! Let's do lunch!" or "Cool! Let's see a movie!" or even "Don't go down Main Street it's full of construction." I didn't though. I didn't have the desire to pursue it more. I had no idea if "I'm in your neighborhood" meant let's meet up for an activity or let's spend the day together and I didn't feel like playing 20 questions to figure it all out.

Example Two: "I have a big box of cardstock in my trunk." That's another statement. That one was a bit more puzzling so my reply of, "Why?" was spot on. The answer was that it was from a lady who was going into a home and couldn't take it all with her. My answer was then, "Oh." I'm sure I was supposed to offer to buy it from her, or take it, or offer some suggestion. Except for putting it in a recycle bin versus a trash can I don't have a suggestion, especially if that suggestion requires some sort of action or responsibility on my part. I'm full up on those this month.

Example Three: "I have January 2 off!" That's a fine declarative statement and I answered it with, "Me too!" Much like the first person I'm sure there were implications and hints that we should do something together. I was very reluctant to bite into that one mostly because that person is always very late if she shows at all. I didn't want to be beholden to someone else's time on my very last vacation day.

Interestingly, all three of these action statements ended there. The person who started it didn't pick up the conversation again to say what they were truly after. The way I look at it, that's on them. And since they are all women they are all probably pissed off at me now. I mentioned this to my male friend, and he said he was no fool. He knew to say exactly what you mean when talking to women. Then he invited me to lunch next week with an action statement for him, "I'll call you on Monday so we can decide when and where."  That's my kind of friend!

The Fine Print: Random kit cards that I made quite awhile ago and just now got around to sharing.You can't rush these things.

Serenity

I'm still searching for serenity in my craft room closet. While I haven't found it yet, I did come pretty darn close with these two cards.

The Fine Print: Toppers from Club Scrap. I accept that I can change things and I'm wise enough to know it; I just seem to lack the gumption to get in there and git'r'done. 

Sailing...

It's the weekend, and it's the first one after coming back to work after the holidays, so I'm just gonna dial this post in from the side of the pool.

No, I'm really at the pool, but I won't be poolside for long. It's too cold to linger out there, either jump in or get back to the locker room.

The Fine Print: Just a few more of the "Sail Away" cards I made from that kit sometime last year.

Waxing Philosophic

I had a coworker who would occasionally bring in thrift store finds to share with others. She knew my love of paper crafting so the things she brought me were always along those lines. Some were winners and some weren't.

She brought me a card making kit she found for dime once. I'd seen similar kits in the craft stores from time to time and they had much bigger price tags than that. It was opened and while all the parts were no longer there, there were enough there for me to make these cards out of it with bits from my own stash as well.

When she gave me this kit she said that if I'd rather not be given random things to please let her know. She didn't want to burden anyone with unwanted gifts. I told her that I love surprise gifts! It meant someone thought of me. I did caution her that I hoped it was okay with her that if a gift wasn't too my liking I'd pass it on to someone else who could love it.

She said she was so pleased to know that I had already learned that lesson in life. She said it took her many, many years and much agonizing before she realized that you don't have to keep things that you don't love and you don't have to keep things just because they were gifts.

She and I both know that is an unpopular stance these days with the whole "more is more" greed culture that the population is so wrapped up in, but it is very freeing. I know many folks are making resolutions about reducing clutter and accumulating less. If you're one of those people, consider passing on a thing or two that you don't love or no longer love to someone who will.

The Fine Print: The secret is that I loved the card kit but I don't want these card parts in my house any longer, so I will now mail them out to folks. Hee hee. The kit was Sue Dreamer or something like that? Die cut words by Cheery Lynn, stamped greeting by Stampin' Up.

Smiles and Giggles

My friend sent me this funny email today:

A SENIOR’S PERSPECTIVE OF FACEBOOK - By Mike Harnett

 

For those of my generation who do not, and cannot, comprehend why Facebook exists: I am trying to make friends outside of Facebook while applying the same principles.

 

Therefore, every day I walk down the street and tell passersby what I have eaten, how I feel at the moment, what I have done the night before, what I will do later and with whom.

 

I give them pictures of my family, my dog, and of me gardening, taking things apart in the garage, reading the paper, watering the lawn, standing in front of landmarks, driving around town, having lunch, and doing what anybody and everybody does every day.

 

I also listen to their conversations, give them the "thumbs up" and tell them I like them.

 

And it works just like Facebook.

 

I already have four people following me: two police officers, a private investigator, and a psychiatrist.

Her story definitely made me smile, because Facebook does not transfer to real life at all. Unfortunately photographs don't capture that good either as this card is a lot cuter in person with its bright and happy colors.

I hope you are smiling today. Beware of those random followers!

The Fine Print: Cat stamp and heart border by Taylored Expressions, scalloped border die by A Muse Studio, circle die by Spellbinders, and scalloped circle punch by Stampin' Up. 

Workdesk Wednesday First of the Year

I thought I'd ring in the new year with a properly messy desk to share with the lovely and nosy ladies at What's on Your Workdesk Wedneday. It's been so long since I played, mostly because the darn desk is picked up all the time (and indeed it is picked up by the time this post goes live).

Proof I can make a mess:

Proof that it extends beyond the desk:

At the time I was working on my first two Christmas cards for this year. Amazing how two little cards can require so much product and space!

The Fine Print: There is no truth to the rumor that I paid the neighborhood children to make a mess on my desk just so I could claim it for myself. Happy 2017!

Hark! Merry Monday

It's time to get back into the Merry Monday saddle and start all over again making Christmas cards for the holiday season. I owe my laid back pre-holiday season to Marry Monday so you bet that I'm signing on again this year.

This week we are asked to used angels on our Christmas cards. I had to groan when I saw the topic. Angels are just one of those things that I'd rather not use. I do actually have an angel stamp though. In fact, I have two. They are brushstroke angels that I hold onto because I think that I might need an angel stamp at some point in my life (like now!).

I also picked up a third angel stamp from my friend who gave away her crafting collection. It's cute but I'm not sure it really works for Christmas or not. You can let me know. I do like it paired with all the icy blues.

In case, that one doesn't do it I did break out with one of my old standbys. I even painted it with some shimmery metallic painty stuff and made a layered poinsettia to go with it. I also stamped my hallmark on the back of both these cards and finished off the insides with greetings and a bit of fanciness.

So there you have it, my first two Christmas cards for this year. I won an honorable mention for the bottle tag I made for the spirits challenge. I still have the bottle of bubbly it was attached to. Somehow we forgot about it on both Christmas day and New Year's eve.

The Fine Print: Angel stamps Stampin' Up and DeNami, papers by Joanns and DCWV, circle dies by Spellbinders, poinsettia die by A Muse Studio, ribbon and wooden snowflake from my stash.

Wild Mouse

Once upon a time, Squirrel posted THIS card and of course I fell in love with that cute furry wild mouse and had to have him. However, since I've been practicing restraint I didn't rush out and buy him. I did put him on my Amazon wish list though.

Guess what?! Santie Claus shops at Amazon because now this fabulous mouse is mine! I'm afraid I can't color him as professionally as Squirrel but I think I did him proud.

The card base sort of looks like that embossed dotted paper that Bazzill used to make (and maybe still do for all I know), but it isn't. The dots you see on it are printed a lighter black. I thought the different patterns all went together well. I want to do a bit more mixed and matching. We'll see how that goes!

The Fine Print: Mouse stamp by Wild Rose Studio, card base by Lasting Impressions, designer papers by My Mind's Eye "Indie Chic," and alphabet stickers by Basic Grey.

The New Calendar

Now that the year has changed it is time for a new calendar. I have a little one in my craft room that shows the dates and precious little else because of its teeny size.

I've often admired the calendar critters, calendar critter accessories and calendar blanks that Taylored Expressions sold. So this year during one of the black Friday, Plaid Saturday, Chartreuse Sunday, or Manic Monday sales I splurged and got them for myself.

This is my January calendar, featuring the bitterly cold weather that January brings with her. I bought a cheap plastic standing frame from the dollar store to house it in. The calendar itself is 3"x4" but since my frame is 5"x7" I had room to add a patterned paper background which is mounted on a piece of white cardstock.

The photo is taken in the dreary gray mush that passes for sunshine this time of the year, so you get what you get. The red dot is my big stamp club meeting date. Since I'm in charge of it I'd be lynched if I missed it.

This here is card showing Cindy ringing in the new year. She got a bit tipsy on milk as you can see. Hope your day is happy and that you aren't too hungover. Remember the dog that bit you and drink his hairs.... I never did understand that cure.

The Fine Print: Calendar and parts by Taylored Expressions--Calendar Critters, Calendar Build a Scene, and Ready Set Snow (the trees). Card stamps and dies by Tim Holtz--Crazy Cats and Crazy Accessories. The pressure is on.... I now have 31 days to make my February calendar.