Wednesday, July 10, 2013
A Mutt 'n Jeff Tale
A bazillion years ago I didn't date this dude I used to work with. I have to say it that way because he apparently thought we were dating. Or perhaps an item. Or at least he had a snowball's chance in hell. We'll call him 'Mutt' because isn't that a great name?
Mutt worked in a different department than mine but he stopped by our office quite often to chat with the ladies. Many people dropped by to chat since we were open and friendly and had lots of ridiculous things to say. I never had an inkling that Mutt was to stopping by to see me specifically.
There was a group of us from work, most from my department, who often did things together. We'd plan lunches together, we would do things for each others' birthday, we'd meet after work, we'd see each other on weekends, and once we got on a bus and went to Disney Land together. We couldn't all always make it and sometimes it ended up just one or two of us went to lunch together. I remember going to lunch twice when it was just Mutt and I, but I never thought it was a date. In fact... well, that's another story for another time.
One time Mutt had a bunch of us stop by to help him move from one apartment to another one weekend. Out of all those people, he asked me to loan him a vacuum cleaner when it was time to clean up his vacated apartment (which apparently is akin to a marriage proposal on Planet Mutt).
Another time the entire group of us met at a restaurant after work to celebrate someone's birthday. We ate and drank and laughed. I had given Mutt a ride there and he was to get a ride home from someone who lived in the same general area as he. As the dinner was winding down, I got up and went to the restroom. If you've been paying attention to anything I say, you know I can go potty by myself. I'm not the type of woman who needs a whole posse to back her up.
As I went into the restroom I noticed Ed on the payphone outside the restroom door. I had to wait my turn for a toilet and when I emerged, Ed was still on the payphone. I looked at him and held up my hands in a "what the hell, man?" gesture. He and the birthday girl wanted to see a specific movie but were unsure where it was playing. Ed was calling the theaters to get movies and times. He had already tried two theaters and had to listen to their long recorded spiels. I suggested he buy a newspaper and thought their might be one of those newspaper boxes outside the restaurant because it was a large place on a busy road and had a city bus stop out front. The two of us walked the few feet out the front door of the place and looked around.
The restaurant door slammed open and Mutt came stalking out, "Where the hell have you been?" he asked me. He didn't believe my story of being in the restroom because no one else from our group had gone. Mutt barely let me get a word in edgewise as he harangued on and on. He was convinced that Ed and I were sneaking off together someplace like I was cheating on him or something, that we were trying to ditch him, that we were trying to ditch the group, that I was a no-good whatever the heck, and blah, blah, blah. He wouldn't let Ed or I say a single thing as his mind was made up and he wasn't going to hear another word. Mutt stuck his nose up in the air and stomped off into the night.
Ed and I shrugged and went back in to the group who was packing up to go. The coworker who was to take Mutt home asked where he was so Ed and I recounted the tale to the group. There were many hoots and hollers about Ed's manliness asking one woman to the movies but sneaking out the front of the restaurant with a different one and many other snickers and eye rolling about Mutt's behavior. The consensus was no one in the group was going to go look for him and offer him a ride home. In fact, after that night Mutt wasn't invited to hang out with our group anymore.
The Fine Print: You did catch that this happened a bazillion years ago and ergo no one had a cell phone or smart phone to find out movie times, right? Also interesting to note that Ed and I are best friends now. I'll have to ask him if he remembers Mutt and that night. I thought of Mutt and this story because I was listening to a couple girls talk about how what makes a guy an undesirable boyfriend. I immediately thought of Mutt and several things he had done that would qualify him as undesirable and this story wasn't even one of the first things that came to mind. Top card--parts 'n stuff by Club Scrap "Hopes" June 2013 kit. Bottom card--stamps from Taylored Expressions and other stuff from my stash.