The Customer is/is not Always Right

I like to read blogs that make me laugh so when someone mentioned a blog they found hilarious and I had to check it out.  The blog may have been called The Customer is Always Right and it was poking fun of things customers ask for.  I could see humor potential there.  I work at an institution of higher learning and we're always asked such gems as, "Do I have to buy the book for this class?" and "Do I have to go to class?"  I also work the switchboard often enough to know that there is so such a thing as a ridiculous question.  "How much are your burial plots?" being one of my personal favorite.

The day I went to check the blog out their post went along these lines:

Customer: I want a cheeseburger with no cheese.
Waiter:  So you mean a hamburger?
Customer: No. I want a cheeseburger, but with no cheese.
Waiter: That's a hamburger.
Customer: What is wrong with you?  I want a cheeseburger without the cheese.
Waiter (giving up): Okay, then that's one cheeseburger without the cheese.
Customer: See? Was that so hard?

Then there were a lot of comments about what a jerk the customer was and blah, blah, blah.  However, I failed to see the humor value in it because when I go to a restaurant and order this is how it goes:

Me: I want a hamburger.
Waiter: Do you want cheese on that?

The Fine Print: I've learned you can't get snippy and say, "Did I order a fricking cheeseburger?" because then the waitstaff will rub your dinner with his genitalia and I definitely didn't order that. That's the last of the peacock cards that I have made.  There is still more stuff in the box plus all the stamps that set came with so perhaps there will be more at some point.  And no, you don't have to buy the book or even go to class but you don't have to pass the thing either.

In a Fog?

You know how people like to chat on their cell phones in public restrooms?  I like to eavesdrop.  Sometimes it is interesting to get a glimpse into someone else's life.  Often times it isn't interesting and you wonder what was so darn important they couldn't even tinkle first.

Before I went into the restroom I was pondering if I had mailed out a swap card I had made or not.  Then I got to thinking about if I actually made the card or not.  Yes, sometimes my brain is that bad.  I do remember starting the card but that's all I got. 

Oddly enough, the girl in the restroom was talking about how bad her memory was and how she couldn't remember the simplest of things.  She went on to diagnosis herself with "period brain" saying she gets like this whenever she gets her period.

For a moment I was excited because I had an excuse, but then I remembered I wasn't on my period.  That got me thinking to all the other excuses I've heard for not remembering well.

Chemo brain. Allergy med brain. High blood pressure brain. Low blood pressure brain.  Low blood sugar brain.  Sugar brain. Alcohol brain.  Wine cooler brain. Caffeinated brain.  Not caffeinated enough brain.  Finals brain. Stress brain.  Boredom brain.  Cupcake brain. And of course all the girlie ones: hormonal brain, pregnancy brain, baby brain, menopause brain, peri-menopause brain and now the new period brain.

Can't we just admit we're distracted?

The Fine Print: The more I think of it the more I realize that all these excuses come out the mouths of women (not just the girlie ones).  Guys will just say, "Shit. I forgot" and that's that.  I'd say more but I forgot what I was going to say because I'm distracted.  Peacocks.  Club Scrap.

Mad for Mosaic

Here is some Mosaic Madness for you on this fine Sabbath Day.  I made this with my fairly new Stampin' Up goodies.  I confess to being far more excited by the Six Sided Sampler than the Mosaic Madness Bundle when I first saw the new catalog, but yet guess which one I bought first!

That's right I got Mosaic Madness first!  That is because I am highly open to suggestion and I made a card at a workshop with it so of course that changed my mind.  Neither of these are the card I made in the workshop though.  I didn't think to photograph that one but should I come across it during my adventures in my craft room, I'll be sure to do so.

I'm feeling a bit puny this afternoon.  Hubby and I helped a friend clear out her garage so there was a lot of manual labor in the heat.  Although we did much more manual labor for longer in hotter heat a couple of weeks ago and that didn't tear me apart like this did.  I was suspecting it was because I just got over a cold, but hubby says we didn't work in 78% humidity before either.  Remember, we're Arizona lizards, we like our heat dry.

The Fine Print: Never fear, if you're local and would like to get in on the garage cleaning action we've got some more for you.  All stuff by Stampin' Up.  I'd look up the sets and stuff used if only I weren't so lazy.

That's What She Said

The Fine Print: Apparently she kept her mouth shut, eh?

Only a Couple Few More to Go....

Hey, I'm down to the last seven hundred and twenty two Peacock cards to show you.  Are you relieved? Excited? Sad?  Wish I'd shut up already and show you them?

Someone was griping the other day about how terrible it is that all the charity walks and events are on Sundays because after all she has to go to church on Sunday.  She isn't the pastor or any kind of officiant, so I guess she has to go to church otherwise her god will be mad.  I find that hard to believe that her god or anyone's god would get mad at you if you chose to do charitable acts instead of going to a house of worship to listen to how one should be doing them.

And for some reason that little tale made me think of the comedian who talks about his very heavily attended church that has several branches in his town, and perhaps in your town too.  It is called The Church of IHOP.  Have you been?  I attend Wednesday night service there myself.

And for some bizarre reason that makes me think of Denis Leary's rant about not smoking on airplanes and how that rule is only for normal situations, because if the shit hit the fan it would be like this:

*fsst*crackle*" Ladies and Gentleman, this is your Captain speaking.  Light 'em up if you got 'em as this plane is going down."

  

Which of course, brings to mind Ron White's conversation with his fellow passenger on a rough flight:

Fellow Passenger: Oh my god! The captain just said the plane lost an engine and the remaining engine isn't working well! How far do you think one bad engine can take us??

 Ron White: All the way to the crash site.

 And that's how my brain makes the jump from one thing to the next.  Did you keep up?  Now do you know how difficult it is to be me?  Or to be near me?!

The Fine Print: Not only would one faulty plane engine get you all the way to the crash site but it would still have enough get up and go to beat the emergency crews there.  Almost all the stuff by Club Scrap Peacock kit except the silver disks, green bling, and the background paper on card #4 which came out of my stash.  Oh hey, now I'm thinking about that punk rock song called A Passenger on the Menu which is about that plane that crashed in the Andes Mountains where the survivors ate those who perished so they'd stay alive.  Aren't you thrilled to know how my brain works?  Now do you see why I try to keep it occupied and don't let it out by itself?

Things to Ponder...

What do you suppose blind people dream about?

Why do they make cat food "new and improved"--did a bunch of cats write in and complain about the old flavor?  And why is there beef flavored cat food?  Are there roving packs of domestic felines taking down herds of cattle?

Explain to me the people that go to the gym but drive around and around in the parking lot until they get a parking space that is close to the door.

If 4 out of 5 dentists recommend Pepsodent, what did that 5th guy recommend?  Inquiring minds want to know!

How come there hasn't been anything cooler than sliced bread to compare things to?  Was that the pinnacle of human invention?

Think of all those people you see on their cell phones all day long.  What the heck do they have to talk about since they aren't doing anything else?

Have you ever stopped to think about some of those nursery rhymes we heard as a kid?  A lot of them were really morbid.  Lady bug, lady bug, fly away home, your house is on fire and your children are gone.  Wow.  That's some heavy stuff to lay on a kid.

Who the hell is "they" and why does "they" give such inaccurate information all the time?  And who is nobody, because that nobody needs to shut his mouth.  I'm so tired of hearing about "Nobody told me...."

How come some food comes with the tag line "surprisingly great taste!"?  Is that saying, "Wow! We thought this was gonna suck, but surprise, surprise!"

Are you allowed to daydream at night?

The Fine Print:  I get people who come into my office and ask for a service we do not provide.  When I tell them we do not provide it, they say, "But so and so said you did."  Why do they believe so and so, who obviously wasn't even in my office but not the person actually in the office?  It seems to me that I'd know what we do and don't do there.  More Club Scrap Peacock cards.

Free Medical Advice

I've been sick the last two days.  Yesterday I was at the prickly, crabby, snotty stage with a mild ache.  Today I'm at the prickly, crabby, snotty stage with a deep ache.  It is all fun and games in my world.

In honor of illness I shall give you some free medical advice, worth every penny you paid.

 One of these is the cats' ear medicine.  The other is glue. Do not put glue in the cats' ears.

 One of these is eye drops.  The other is a reinker for a plum pad.  Do not put plum ink into your eyes.

One of these is an assortment of pills.  The other is an assortment of decorative brads.  Do not swallow the brads.  They have those annoying pointy ends, you know.

The Fine Print: So is there any chance that tomorrow will be the prickly, crabby, snotty stage with a NO ache stage?  Or possibly none of the above?  Yeah, I doubt it either.  Peacock card stuff by Club Scrap.

 

OooooMMMMMmm.... bre

Hey! It is time for the midpoint challenge reminder for the A Muse Studio Challenge Blog.  Last week, A Muse Consultant Tracey offered up a challenge to see which is more popular these days: Rainbow or Ombre.

I confess that I had no clue what ombre was but I knew I liked bright rainbows so I made a colorful card.  Well this week I now know that ombre is one color or tone shading into the next.  It is also the name of a card game, but that's the old-fangled definition. 

I've seen ombre in fashion where hair is two toned, which looks like you are in serious need of a dye job if not done right (as in, you have six inches of roots) and in clothing that tends to have several shades of the same color.  However, I've not seen any of this recently.  I'm not exactly fashion forward though.

As you see, I thought I'd try out ombre this week.  It was okay, but I stand by my original vote of rainbow.  That's something that will never grow old.  At least not in my book!

The Fine Print: Stamps, dies and papers by A Muse Studio, ink by Memento.  Stamp set used-Anchor's Aweigh; cardstock used-winter sky, sky, ocean, blueberry, and cobalt; die used-Anchor's Aweigh matching dies and scallop border; and inks used Danube and Paris blue.

All Natural

I had a friend who used to pester me to try her skin care regime because she just loved the way it made her face look and feel.  I'm sure the fact that her sister sold the products in question played a part of why she wanted me to try it as well.

I'm quite pleased with my current skin care products.  I don't need to find a demonstrator or have a home party to buy them, and I certainly don't need to save up for them.  In fact, I just walk into the drug store and pluck them off the shelf.  That said, however, I can be experimental in the name of getting you to shut your piehole up.

There were far more steps than I'm used to with slapping on this and dabbing this, and slathering on that and wiping the other off.  The end result was my face itched and itched along my jaw line.  It went on and on until I scrubbed my face raw to remove all residue of her superior skin care products.

When I saw her the next day I told my friend that those products gave me a rash.  She pondered that for awhile.  "Huh, that's weird," she said,  "since all they are all natural."

Yeah?  So is poison ivy.

The Fine Print: It is the Sabbath so we cannot have Peacocks in front of us, remember?   Stamp by Magnolia, papers by DCWV, coloring by me!

Words of Wisdom. Or not.

I said lots of words yesterday so I don't feel I need to say a lot of words today.  

That and I am lacking a subject to spew forth words about.

But yet, here you are scrolling down my blog post looking for words.

I'm sorry to disappoint you like this.

The Fine Print: Whaddya know? No words of interest here either.  Club Scrap Peacock kit, but you knew that already.

Where Did the Imagination Go?

When did kids lose their imaginations?  That's something a friend and I discussed last night.  I told her how as a kid if I was set loose to entertain myself where there were no toys, I would just invent toys out of whatever was handy.  I used the salt and pepper shakers on the table as an example.  They could be people talking to each other and maybe daring each other to jump off the table. Probably they would be cars though because the plastic sign holding the lunch specials would make an awesome ramp.  I've played with silverware, rocks, slips of paper, and other random things in lieu of toys. 

I spent many hours at my grandparent's house playing with ceramic figurines.  It didn't matter if they were ill proportioned or wouldn't have gotten along in real life (like alligators and kittens), they all interacted with each other well.  When I was playing with my toys I had no problem combining types of toys.  I'd build Lincoln Log houses for my Fisher Price people.  I'd also use a cardboard box for a barn and the farmyard would be fenced with Legos.  Wooden blocks were often called into play as a multitude of things as were my own ceramic figurines of animals.  I cut up packaging from household products so we could have flower gardens and pretty scenery.  We put masking tape on the wooden floor to demarcate the ocean from the land, the roadway from the farm, the river from the house, my property from your property, civilization from the wild.  Oversized Tonka trucks sometimes raged through the miniature farm taking all the cows to wherever that place was cows got taken to (it was some kind of vacation, right?).  As we grew older battery operated Stompers became the choice mode of transportation and an R2D2 unit vacuumed the house.

Later after my nephew had been born and got old enough to participate I sat down with him on several occasions to play.  I was impressed with how some toys had evolved--Legos were no longer just blocks, Erector sets were outrageously intricate, and figurines of people were moveable and often had props.  I was also depressed with how some toys had devolved--Fisher Price people were large misshapen blobs and didn't have all the cool accessories my version did, Lincoln Logs were plastic and lacking imagination, and Tonka trucks were outnumbered by cheap plastic knockoffs.  But the biggest tragedy of all is that they weren't allowed to interact.  Legos could not be used with Star Wars characters, brand X trucks couldn't carry away brand Y farm animals, wooden blocks weren't good for anything and no way could you use a box or a mere piece of household item for any toy.  It wasn't just my nephew; his friends had similar beliefs.

And to add insult to injury many of the toys were not allowed outside of their packaging or to be put in a different configuration.  Matchbox cars no longer traveled down streets paved of masking tape and broke down barriers of alphabet blocks.  They were looked at through the plastic. We couldn't have an explosion of our Lego spaceship landing us on an alien planet where we built random things out of the pieces of our former spaceship.  Oh no, once you put that Lego spaceship together you left it exactly as is.  If, and only if you had a Lego alien landscape could you go visit one.  You couldn't pretend the couch was one.  Your Darth Vader doll couldn't go into the cantina and blow off Han Solo's face if you didn't own the cantina or the proper Han Solo figurine (you couldn't use the one from a different movie, oh no!).

The kid and his friends lacked imagination.  They wouldn't mix brands of toys and they wouldn't pretend something was something it wasn't.  They certainly couldn't play with anything that wasn't an official toy.  They couldn't occupy themselves with silverware and salt shakers.  They also had been brainwashed into thinking that toys should stay in their packaging so one day they'd be worth millions.  Here comes the joke.  My nephew would pull his beloved Star Wars figures out of their box to play with them and then put them back into the box.  He'd say they'd never been touched even though parts were lost and the boxes frayed.  At first I thought it was a ploy invented by mothers to get their kids to pick up after themselves, but it wasn't.

It made me sad to see kids lacking imagination and the ability to lose themselves for hours in the world of make believe.  They'd been brainwashed into being savvy consumers instead of innocent children.

The Fine Print: And where are all those million dollar toys now?  Let's just say they never fetched more than they cost in the first place.  Is anyone surprised by that?!  More peacocks, but of course, because they are way cooler than Beanie Babies.

Tri-Fold Card

Yesterday I was being held hostage in a technology-less environment. I'll bet just reading that sent shudders down many of your spines.  I had human company (that's F2F for some of you) and a book (that's the primitive paper-based pre-eReader device) so all was good for me.

 

The Fine Print: Back to peacocks today. 

A Challenge Challenge

I've been playing hooky from the A Muse Studio Challenge Blog lately, but I'm back today.  This time the challenge is deciding the trendy color scheme: rainbow or ombre.  

Let me tell you that I don't even know what ombre is except it suspiciously sounds like "somber" and I'm not a fan of somber at all.  So I'm voting rainbow:

I'm a fan of bright colors so there you have it.  Also, in keeping with the what's trendy line of thinking I made a clean and simple (CAS) card and included some washi tape which is hot, hot, hot right now.

Why don't you cast your vote for rainbow or ombre by making a card in one or the other and joining the challenge today?!  Entries do not have to be made with A Muse Studio products but love you all the more if you do.

Go Rainbow!

The Fine Print: All the goods by A Muse Studio.  Stamp sets used: Squeeze the Day and Silver Lining; Supplies used: washi tape from the Halloween tape set; Inks used: Memento black and dandelion.

And on the Seventh Day....

 And on the seventh day, both God and Judy agreed to give peacocks a rest.  As it says in the Bible, Thou shall Not bring false peacocks before thee and thine on the Sabbath.  In facteth, Thou shall not bring any peacocks at all, false or no.  Prevaricators 12:4

Instead God and I decided to share some birthday cards I made.   I haven't forsaken card kits though.  These are from a kit that DeNami used to sell (it appears they no longer do these, but they do have a new release out).  You would get all the cardstock and embellishments to make a couple cards each of four different designs.  You had to purchase the stamps separately, but if you were like me, you already had them.  I made and used several of these cards before and since I didn't want to inadvertently send a duplicate card to someone I made these up and decided to send them to Operation Write Home. 

I think it is kind of silly that I was afraid of sending a duplicate birthday card.  Truth be told, I haven't sent but a couple birthday cards all year.  I pretty much am ignoring everyone's birthday.  It isn't that I don't think of them; it's just that I can't get it together enough to send a card.  But now I seem to have all these peacock cards...

The Fine Print:  Speaking a God, and we did earlier in the post in case you forgot, I once received a bible and large Ginsu carving knife in the mail.  It came in a plain brown wrapper with no return address.  I thought it was the most peculiar thing and wondered if I were being recruited by a cult.  As excited as I was by that prospect I never heard from them again.  Stamps and card parts by DeNami Designs.

The Peacock Never Dies

After sharing cards made from the Peacock kit (the last couple posts, for those of you just joining us), I decided that perhaps I should see if I actually used up all that kit or not.  It isn't that I've run out of peacock cards to share, but rather that I still have the box lurking next to my desk.

I have a bad habit of hoarding Club Scrap boxes, mostly because I don't finish up the kit right away or even anytime in the same year, but even when I do I promptly turn around and shove other stuff into the box for storage.

The answer was that yes I made all 15 cards from the Greetings to Go pack but I still had the leftovers, the cardstock, and the extra cut outs that I bought left.  So far today I've made 6 more cards with that stuff and still have things to play with.  I'm kind of getting peacocked out though.

True story: I once saw a peacock strutting down the side of the road, like a man on a mission.  I didn't disturb him.  I hear those things can be mean.  Besides, what would I do with a peacock?!  "Look ma! It followed me home."

We do *not* hoard these boxes.

The Fine Print: Actually I see now that getting rid of my hoard of CS boxes would make the cat really sad so I guess I have to keep them forever so she has a place to sit and look regal.  Wait, do I really have to tell you that all the card parts 'n stuff are by Club Scrap, the peacock kit? 

The Pox!

The other morning the supervisor in my area stopped by my office to tell me that an employee would be late to work.  I noted that he hadn't called in on the sick/late line and wondered how she knew he was late as opposed to being out.  She pondered that for a moment and said, "Well, I'm assuming he's just late.  He texted me a picture of a flat tire."

I thought that was brilliant--a quick visit to Google images and you have an instant excuse for being late.

So the next day I visited Google images and sent her this photo and email:

Sorry! Can't make it to work today. I have the pox!

She pointed out to me that it would be more believable if I weren't actually in my office. Well, heck.  Leave it to me to louse up the details.  Next week I'm going to Google myself some tumor photos.  Just you wait and see!

The Fine Print: Sorry to horrify you with that photo of what looks like bad back acne.  Look at the Club Scrap peacock ones instead.  The patterned paper on the top card is from my stash.

Mutt 'n Jeff Part II

This is a continuation of yesterday's post, wherein a guy named Mutt took a made a huge assumption that I was his main squeeze.  He was in the friend zone and didn't even know it.

What made me think of him in the first place was my eavesdropping on two young ladies who were discussing what made a man an undesirable date and therefore an undesirable boyfriend.  The funny part of their story is they were talking about the one girl's brother .  Some of the things they said made me think of Mutt.  He obviously had no clue.  It is also interesting to note that what was true a bazillion years ago is still true today.

What makes a man an undesirable date according to the modern young woman:
He takes you where he wants to go part I.  Apparently the girl's brother takes all his dates to a sports bar rather the girl likes sports, greasy food, and brew or not. Also he isn't attracted to the type of girl who likes sports bars so it is a lose-lose situation. One time the brother took his date to a BBQ place which flopped since the girl was a vegetarian.  It never dawns on him to ask his date where they'd like to go.  This didn't make me think of Mutt because we just went to lunch from work.  We had a limited options and frankly that's how it went when people went to lunch from work.  "I'm going to the Tex Mex place, wanna come?"

He takes you where he wants to go part II.  The brother would take his dates to movies and again not ask their input.  He liked typical guy movies with explosions, superheros, battles and gore.  He always managed to pick inappropriate movies for his dates. One inappropriate movie choice was taking a girl whose brother was a quadriplegic due to a car accident to some smash 'em car chase movie.  The date got up and walked out.  Mutt once asked several of us to a movie after work and I said I could go as long as I was home by 8:00.  I wasn't worried about the content of the movie as my friend Ed (remember him from last post?) and I went to random movies all the time.  Mutt said we were going to see Dances with Wolves which he had seen previously.  At a few minutes to 8 I got up and walked out the movie theater.  Mutt made a huge scene in lobby about how could I not finish the movie?  I told him that straight up I had to be home by 8 and now I was going to be late.  He said he told me what the movie was--like I should have just somehow magically known that it was over 3 hours long.  Dances with Wolves in an inappropriate movie choice if you have time constraints.  Making a scene in the theater lobby until they ask you leave isn't exactly going to win you points on the dating front either.  Another coworker, Mary, was with us and wondered why Mutt vanished.  She knew why I did given the time.

He acts like you can't do common every day tasks.  The brother has a belief that everything he does is superior to the way a girl would do it and that women needed input from him to do it right.  The girls didn't give specific examples but were making jokes like, "No, babe, this is the correct way to brush your teeth." One time a group of us went to lunch and Shanna drove. She barely put the car into reverse when Mutt started hollering about looking out for the cars behind us.  No, there wasn't a car racing down the parking lot; he was talking about the cars parked behind us in regulation parking spots.  You know, like there is in every parking lot everywhere that anyone has ever parked in since they learned to drive.  Yeah, Mutt, I think people know how to back their own car out of a space.  

He plays practical joke at the girl's expense.  The brother once barreled his car through a huge muddy puddle and used the electronic window open to open his date's window so she got thoroughly splashed.  He laughed and laughed at her then spent the evening telling everyone at the sports bar what he had done to her and how funny it was.  In fact, he whooped it up over that for days later.  He was also perplexed when she never spoke to him again.  Mutt played lots of little jokes on people and somehow they were never funny.  One time Mary was working on a document saved to a floppy disk.  He pulled out her disk and inserted a different one that he had slit with scissors.  Of course this new disk didn't work so Mary ejected it and freaked out when she saw the slit in the disk.  Mutt rushed to her aide, telling her to bring the disk to the computer lab so he could fix it.  We figured he'd muddle around a bit and give her the original disk back.  That would have been funny.  Mary was really freaked out about it so it was obvious the joke couldn't be taken much further, but oh no, he did.  First he dropped it and ran it over with an office chair.  He then put scotch tape on the disk and set it on fire (to "weld" it back together) which of course ruined the disk.  Mary was in tears.  Mutt didn't stop there. I don't know what else went on but another guy from the department called us to come get Mary.  She was upset, sobbing, and inconsolable.  Mutt wouldn't give back her original disk even after we demanded it back saying it was all a joke gone wrong.  He kept insisted her disk was the melted one.  Mary did eventually get it back  Mutt laughed and laughed about that incident, told everyone what a lark it was and brought it up for weeks afterward.

So there you have it, four things that make a man undesirable as a date, boyfriend, or significant other.  Obviously the brother is hopelessly single as of this writing.  There is no telling about Mutt, but I'm willing to bet that he's lonely and bald somewhere on this planet.  Now that I've thought of him and written about him I can go back to forgetting he existed.

The Fine Print: I often wondered if we turned Mary into a computer-phobe after that.  Peacock cards from Club Scrap from the non-inappropriately named kit "Peacock."

A Mutt 'n Jeff Tale

A bazillion years ago I didn't date this dude I used to work with.  I have to say it that way because he apparently thought we were dating.  Or perhaps an item.  Or at least he had a snowball's chance in hell.  We'll call him 'Mutt' because isn't that a great name?

Mutt worked in a different department than mine but he stopped by our office quite often to chat with the ladies. Many people dropped by to chat since we were open and friendly and had lots of ridiculous things to say.  I never had an inkling that Mutt was to stopping by to see me specifically. 

There was a group of us from work, most from my department, who often did things together.  We'd plan lunches together, we would do things for each others' birthday, we'd meet after work, we'd see each other on weekends, and once we got on a bus and went to Disney Land together.  We couldn't all always make it and sometimes it ended up just one or two of us went to lunch together.  I remember going to lunch twice when it was just Mutt and I, but I never thought it was a date.  In fact... well, that's another story for another time.

One time Mutt had a bunch of us stop by to help him move from one apartment to another one weekend.  Out of all those people, he asked me to loan him a vacuum cleaner when it was time to clean up his vacated apartment (which apparently is akin to a marriage proposal on Planet Mutt).

Another time the entire group of us met at a restaurant after work to celebrate someone's birthday.  We ate and drank and laughed.  I had given Mutt a ride there and he was to get a ride home from someone who lived in the same general area as he.  As the dinner was winding down, I got up and went to the restroom.  If you've been paying attention to anything I say, you know I can go potty by myself. I'm not the type of woman who needs a whole posse to back her up.

As I went into the restroom I noticed Ed on the payphone outside the restroom door.  I had to wait my turn for a toilet and when I emerged, Ed was still on the payphone.  I looked at him and held up my hands in a "what the hell, man?" gesture.  He and the birthday girl wanted to see a specific movie but were unsure where it was playing.  Ed was calling the theaters to get movies and times.  He had already tried two theaters and had to listen to their long recorded spiels.  I suggested he buy a newspaper and thought their might be one of those newspaper boxes outside the restaurant because it was a large place on a busy road and had a city bus stop out front.  The two of us walked the few feet out the front door of the place and looked around.

The restaurant door slammed open and Mutt came stalking out, "Where the hell have you been?" he asked me.  He didn't believe my story of being in the restroom because no one else from our group had gone.  Mutt barely let me get a word in edgewise as he harangued on and on.  He was convinced that Ed and I were sneaking off together someplace like I was cheating on him or something, that we were trying to ditch him, that we were trying to ditch the group, that I was a no-good whatever the heck, and blah, blah, blah.  He wouldn't let Ed or I say a single thing as his mind was made up and he wasn't going to hear another word.  Mutt stuck his nose up in the air and stomped off into the night.

Ed and I shrugged and went back in to the group who was packing up to go.  The coworker who was to take Mutt home asked where he was so Ed and I recounted the tale to the group.  There were many hoots and hollers about Ed's manliness asking one woman to the movies but sneaking out the front of the restaurant with a different one and many other snickers and eye rolling about Mutt's behavior.  The consensus was no one in the group was going to go look for him and offer him a ride home.  In fact, after that night Mutt wasn't invited to hang out with our group anymore. 

The Fine Print: You did catch that this happened a bazillion years ago and ergo no one had a cell phone or smart phone to find out movie times, right?  Also interesting to note that Ed and I are best friends now.  I'll have to ask him if he remembers Mutt and that night.  I thought of Mutt and this story because I was listening to a couple girls talk about how what makes a guy an undesirable boyfriend.  I immediately thought of Mutt and several things he had done that would qualify him as undesirable and this story wasn't even one of the first things that came to mind.  Top card--parts 'n stuff by Club Scrap "Hopes" June 2013 kit.  Bottom card--stamps from Taylored Expressions and other stuff from my stash.

Seafood Fun

As an A Muse demonstrator it pains me to confess that I haven't felt very A Musing lately.  I've been far more preoccupied with Stampin' Up these days.  That might be because their new catalog is out and they got so many things that I have to have!!!
 
I went to a friend's house the other day and made this card.  As we were fiddling around with it my friend commented that for some strange reason she had this urge to eat seafood.  One of my favorite Mexican food fillings is shrimp, but except for that I don't much consider myself a fan of seafood (unless it's raw, but that's another story).

Once I got home from playing, my husband asked me out to dinner for seafood.  He didn't even make the card!  Heck, he hadn't even seen it!  I guess the seafood vibes were just out there in the air. 

I don't remember what seafood I did eat but rest assured it was not lobster.  That stuff seems like far too much work for me.  Plus the only time I ever had lobster it was this rubbery thing that was swimming in greasy butter.  Yes, it was just as appetizing as it sounds.  I'm quite sure that the restaurant we went to would never even consider serving such a poorly made dish, but I figure why take my chances, especially when they have all those other wonderful former swimming creatures on the menu.

The Fine Print:  Stamps, dies, punches, and embossing folder by Stampin' Up.  Sets used: "By the Tide" and "Wetlands;" dies used: window frames framelets; embossing folder used: honeycomb texture; punches used: circle and scallop circle; inks used: Memento lady bug red, London fog gray, and Paris dusk; cherry and white baker's twine and Bermuda blue chevron ribbon by A Muse Studio (see, not totally forgotten!).  You have this urge to eat seafood now, dontcha?