Friday, September 20, 2013

Mourn the Family Physician

A couple of our kitties will need to head off to the veterinarian next month for their annual exam.  My kitties go every year for a check up even though they now get 3-year vaccinations.  When they get their exam the doctor will look in their noses, throats, ears, and pick at their teeth.  He will listen to their hearts and lungs.  He will run his hands over their bodies and tails.  He will inspect their feet, toenails, and anal glands.  He will inquire about their input and output.  They will be weighed, have their temperatures taken, and heart rates monitored.
If my kitties aren't up to snuff he will draw blood for lab tests.  If they need medications they will be dispensed on the spot.  If, gosh forbid, they need surgery, the doc will splay 'em open and fix 'em up.

I don't get that kind of service when I show up at my doctor for my annual exam.  I know. I just went.  Instead of looking at me, she gazed at a computer screen noted I needed a pap smear, a mammogram, a dermatologist, a 6-month follow-up with my allergist, a 3-month follow-up with my gastroenterologist and she pondered sending me to a lab for blood work but opted not to.  Yet.
I left there with a handful of papers and the need to make a whole bunch more doctor's appointments.  She didn't even bang my knee with  rubber mallet let alone listen to my heart and lungs.  It will be another 2 months before I make the rounds to all these doctors.  Then I get the privilege of following up with her with all my results.  It's insane.
I guess I sort of get it.  The mammogram takes specialized equipment and I really would prefer to have an expert in the field stick a camera up my hiney than someone who has just a general knowledge of how it goes.  I already followed up after that procedure, and life is good, why do I need to go back again?  Same with the allergist?  Can't I just be trusted to make an appointment if I have a problem or concern?  And the damn dermatologist... by the time I finally have the appointment my weird sore will have vanished.  Couldn't my general doctor have at least looked at it?  Shit, screw you Obamacare.  What this girl needs is a veterinarian!

The Fine Print: Okay, I didn't really leave the doctor's office with a bunch of referrals.  I had to wait two weeks to get them in the mail to me. Cards, stamps, 'n stuff by Club Scrap the Spring Chorus kit. I put off using this kit because these funky folded cards intimidated me.  Now that I actually sat down to use them I can't figure out what I was so worried about.


Squirrel x said...

Being a woman heading off tomorrow morning for the first experience of a mammogram, I hear you sister. Give me Vince's vet anyday over the NHS. The fact that he is tall, dark and handsome has absolutely nothing to do with my preference. Nothing, I tell you. Purrrrrr. Xx

Squirrel x said...

PS. Cards are mighty fine babes! Love the gang sentiment. That's a must have. Xx

Di said...

Oh Judy, I cried with recognition and laughter at this, Next time I'm coming back as a MAN...........or preferably a CAT or better still a DOG (then I get to sniff personal places and look innocent)!!

Err, and I love your card - sorry it's an after thought to say that, still wiping the tears of laughter away :)

Hugs, Di xx

Darnell J Knauss said...

You are a hoot, PJ! I have seven "specialists," so I hear ya. My "primary" doctor hasn't laid a hand on me in the ten years I've been seeing him. WTF is up with that?! He could at least listen to my heart and feign some interest. After reading your post, I'm calling a Vet!!

Now, in all seriousness, the post after this talked about your sciatic pain, so I was going to encourage you to go to the doctor. But you just went, so I assume you talked about it. But I didn't catch any f/u (follow-up) with any other doctor about your back ... curious about that.

My MIL would get sciatic attacks once or twice a year (following a car accident). After trying tons of shit for years, she finally started getting a cortisone shot. BAM, no more pain! It would last at least six months!! I have severe degeneration in my lumber, so I know a little bit about not being able to walk, sit, or lay down. If I could get a shot for it, I would!! Love, Mom

In the meantime, your cards are stunning!! Thanks for the visits to me and good luck with the back and all that other crap! Hugs, Darnell