For the lack of a better idea, I stuck to making dog cards last night. I know my posts have been light on words lately so I've been pondering a good story to go with my cards. Alas, I have no good dog stories. I don't even have a bad dog story.
I truly am not a dog person. My older brother had a dog while we were growing. I guess I should say while I was growing up; my older brother being 10 years older than me. I don't remember much about the dog except that sometimes it would sneak upstairs and eat the cat food. Then my dad would yell, "G-D worthless mutt!" See, not a good bad dog story. And yes, dad often said "gee dee" as opposed to the word it represented; but never fear, he used that too on occasion.
I once told a dog-loving friend that I hated dogs because it seems like everyone I knew had a G-D worthless mutt tiny dog that would jump all over you while yapping and panting and possibly trying to bite your face off, all while their owners either ignored it or ineffectively tried to control their dog. My friend pointed out that I didn't hate dogs; I hated dog owners who couldn't be bothered to train their dogs. Hmmm... true enough. Anyway, I once dated a guy (good ol' FF from a previous post) who called small yappy dogs "puntables." That seemed kind of appropriate because over the course of time I learned that a couple of knees to the face and those tiny jumping dogs usually backed off. Yeah, see, not a particularly good dog story either, you know, if you like dogs.
The Fine Print: I think the tiny jumping dog syndrome was before crate training became a thing and dogs started to live in giant hamster cages. Anyway, the worst offender of the bunch had her owner trained to put her pantyhose on in the car before heading out to work because it wouldn't not jump on her like a banshee.I say if you risk exposing your nether region and/or granny panties to the neighbors, maybe you should train your dog a little bit. Wiener dog stamp by Printworks and cute dog stamp by All Night Media.