Mutt 'n Jeff Part II

This is a continuation of yesterday's post, wherein a guy named Mutt took a made a huge assumption that I was his main squeeze.  He was in the friend zone and didn't even know it.

What made me think of him in the first place was my eavesdropping on two young ladies who were discussing what made a man an undesirable date and therefore an undesirable boyfriend.  The funny part of their story is they were talking about the one girl's brother .  Some of the things they said made me think of Mutt.  He obviously had no clue.  It is also interesting to note that what was true a bazillion years ago is still true today.

What makes a man an undesirable date according to the modern young woman:
He takes you where he wants to go part I.  Apparently the girl's brother takes all his dates to a sports bar rather the girl likes sports, greasy food, and brew or not. Also he isn't attracted to the type of girl who likes sports bars so it is a lose-lose situation. One time the brother took his date to a BBQ place which flopped since the girl was a vegetarian.  It never dawns on him to ask his date where they'd like to go.  This didn't make me think of Mutt because we just went to lunch from work.  We had a limited options and frankly that's how it went when people went to lunch from work.  "I'm going to the Tex Mex place, wanna come?"

He takes you where he wants to go part II.  The brother would take his dates to movies and again not ask their input.  He liked typical guy movies with explosions, superheros, battles and gore.  He always managed to pick inappropriate movies for his dates. One inappropriate movie choice was taking a girl whose brother was a quadriplegic due to a car accident to some smash 'em car chase movie.  The date got up and walked out.  Mutt once asked several of us to a movie after work and I said I could go as long as I was home by 8:00.  I wasn't worried about the content of the movie as my friend Ed (remember him from last post?) and I went to random movies all the time.  Mutt said we were going to see Dances with Wolves which he had seen previously.  At a few minutes to 8 I got up and walked out the movie theater.  Mutt made a huge scene in lobby about how could I not finish the movie?  I told him that straight up I had to be home by 8 and now I was going to be late.  He said he told me what the movie was--like I should have just somehow magically known that it was over 3 hours long.  Dances with Wolves in an inappropriate movie choice if you have time constraints.  Making a scene in the theater lobby until they ask you leave isn't exactly going to win you points on the dating front either.  Another coworker, Mary, was with us and wondered why Mutt vanished.  She knew why I did given the time.

He acts like you can't do common every day tasks.  The brother has a belief that everything he does is superior to the way a girl would do it and that women needed input from him to do it right.  The girls didn't give specific examples but were making jokes like, "No, babe, this is the correct way to brush your teeth." One time a group of us went to lunch and Shanna drove. She barely put the car into reverse when Mutt started hollering about looking out for the cars behind us.  No, there wasn't a car racing down the parking lot; he was talking about the cars parked behind us in regulation parking spots.  You know, like there is in every parking lot everywhere that anyone has ever parked in since they learned to drive.  Yeah, Mutt, I think people know how to back their own car out of a space.  

He plays practical joke at the girl's expense.  The brother once barreled his car through a huge muddy puddle and used the electronic window open to open his date's window so she got thoroughly splashed.  He laughed and laughed at her then spent the evening telling everyone at the sports bar what he had done to her and how funny it was.  In fact, he whooped it up over that for days later.  He was also perplexed when she never spoke to him again.  Mutt played lots of little jokes on people and somehow they were never funny.  One time Mary was working on a document saved to a floppy disk.  He pulled out her disk and inserted a different one that he had slit with scissors.  Of course this new disk didn't work so Mary ejected it and freaked out when she saw the slit in the disk.  Mutt rushed to her aide, telling her to bring the disk to the computer lab so he could fix it.  We figured he'd muddle around a bit and give her the original disk back.  That would have been funny.  Mary was really freaked out about it so it was obvious the joke couldn't be taken much further, but oh no, he did.  First he dropped it and ran it over with an office chair.  He then put scotch tape on the disk and set it on fire (to "weld" it back together) which of course ruined the disk.  Mary was in tears.  Mutt didn't stop there. I don't know what else went on but another guy from the department called us to come get Mary.  She was upset, sobbing, and inconsolable.  Mutt wouldn't give back her original disk even after we demanded it back saying it was all a joke gone wrong.  He kept insisted her disk was the melted one.  Mary did eventually get it back  Mutt laughed and laughed about that incident, told everyone what a lark it was and brought it up for weeks afterward.

So there you have it, four things that make a man undesirable as a date, boyfriend, or significant other.  Obviously the brother is hopelessly single as of this writing.  There is no telling about Mutt, but I'm willing to bet that he's lonely and bald somewhere on this planet.  Now that I've thought of him and written about him I can go back to forgetting he existed.

The Fine Print: I often wondered if we turned Mary into a computer-phobe after that.  Peacock cards from Club Scrap from the non-inappropriately named kit "Peacock."

A Mutt 'n Jeff Tale

A bazillion years ago I didn't date this dude I used to work with.  I have to say it that way because he apparently thought we were dating.  Or perhaps an item.  Or at least he had a snowball's chance in hell.  We'll call him 'Mutt' because isn't that a great name?

Mutt worked in a different department than mine but he stopped by our office quite often to chat with the ladies. Many people dropped by to chat since we were open and friendly and had lots of ridiculous things to say.  I never had an inkling that Mutt was to stopping by to see me specifically. 

There was a group of us from work, most from my department, who often did things together.  We'd plan lunches together, we would do things for each others' birthday, we'd meet after work, we'd see each other on weekends, and once we got on a bus and went to Disney Land together.  We couldn't all always make it and sometimes it ended up just one or two of us went to lunch together.  I remember going to lunch twice when it was just Mutt and I, but I never thought it was a date.  In fact... well, that's another story for another time.

One time Mutt had a bunch of us stop by to help him move from one apartment to another one weekend.  Out of all those people, he asked me to loan him a vacuum cleaner when it was time to clean up his vacated apartment (which apparently is akin to a marriage proposal on Planet Mutt).

Another time the entire group of us met at a restaurant after work to celebrate someone's birthday.  We ate and drank and laughed.  I had given Mutt a ride there and he was to get a ride home from someone who lived in the same general area as he.  As the dinner was winding down, I got up and went to the restroom.  If you've been paying attention to anything I say, you know I can go potty by myself. I'm not the type of woman who needs a whole posse to back her up.

As I went into the restroom I noticed Ed on the payphone outside the restroom door.  I had to wait my turn for a toilet and when I emerged, Ed was still on the payphone.  I looked at him and held up my hands in a "what the hell, man?" gesture.  He and the birthday girl wanted to see a specific movie but were unsure where it was playing.  Ed was calling the theaters to get movies and times.  He had already tried two theaters and had to listen to their long recorded spiels.  I suggested he buy a newspaper and thought their might be one of those newspaper boxes outside the restaurant because it was a large place on a busy road and had a city bus stop out front.  The two of us walked the few feet out the front door of the place and looked around.

The restaurant door slammed open and Mutt came stalking out, "Where the hell have you been?" he asked me.  He didn't believe my story of being in the restroom because no one else from our group had gone.  Mutt barely let me get a word in edgewise as he harangued on and on.  He was convinced that Ed and I were sneaking off together someplace like I was cheating on him or something, that we were trying to ditch him, that we were trying to ditch the group, that I was a no-good whatever the heck, and blah, blah, blah.  He wouldn't let Ed or I say a single thing as his mind was made up and he wasn't going to hear another word.  Mutt stuck his nose up in the air and stomped off into the night.

Ed and I shrugged and went back in to the group who was packing up to go.  The coworker who was to take Mutt home asked where he was so Ed and I recounted the tale to the group.  There were many hoots and hollers about Ed's manliness asking one woman to the movies but sneaking out the front of the restaurant with a different one and many other snickers and eye rolling about Mutt's behavior.  The consensus was no one in the group was going to go look for him and offer him a ride home.  In fact, after that night Mutt wasn't invited to hang out with our group anymore. 

The Fine Print: You did catch that this happened a bazillion years ago and ergo no one had a cell phone or smart phone to find out movie times, right?  Also interesting to note that Ed and I are best friends now.  I'll have to ask him if he remembers Mutt and that night.  I thought of Mutt and this story because I was listening to a couple girls talk about how what makes a guy an undesirable boyfriend.  I immediately thought of Mutt and several things he had done that would qualify him as undesirable and this story wasn't even one of the first things that came to mind.  Top card--parts 'n stuff by Club Scrap "Hopes" June 2013 kit.  Bottom card--stamps from Taylored Expressions and other stuff from my stash.

Seafood Fun

As an A Muse demonstrator it pains me to confess that I haven't felt very A Musing lately.  I've been far more preoccupied with Stampin' Up these days.  That might be because their new catalog is out and they got so many things that I have to have!!!
 
I went to a friend's house the other day and made this card.  As we were fiddling around with it my friend commented that for some strange reason she had this urge to eat seafood.  One of my favorite Mexican food fillings is shrimp, but except for that I don't much consider myself a fan of seafood (unless it's raw, but that's another story).

Once I got home from playing, my husband asked me out to dinner for seafood.  He didn't even make the card!  Heck, he hadn't even seen it!  I guess the seafood vibes were just out there in the air. 

I don't remember what seafood I did eat but rest assured it was not lobster.  That stuff seems like far too much work for me.  Plus the only time I ever had lobster it was this rubbery thing that was swimming in greasy butter.  Yes, it was just as appetizing as it sounds.  I'm quite sure that the restaurant we went to would never even consider serving such a poorly made dish, but I figure why take my chances, especially when they have all those other wonderful former swimming creatures on the menu.

The Fine Print:  Stamps, dies, punches, and embossing folder by Stampin' Up.  Sets used: "By the Tide" and "Wetlands;" dies used: window frames framelets; embossing folder used: honeycomb texture; punches used: circle and scallop circle; inks used: Memento lady bug red, London fog gray, and Paris dusk; cherry and white baker's twine and Bermuda blue chevron ribbon by A Muse Studio (see, not totally forgotten!).  You have this urge to eat seafood now, dontcha?

Whatever Floats Your Boat

I'm sure you've heard that expression, "Whatever floats your boat" before.  Now stop and think about it for a moment.  Just what the heck does that mean?

I don't know about you, but I don't have a boat but if I did I'd float it in water because floating it down rivers of Mt. Dew just sounds sticky and using rivers of blood sounds macabre.  What do other people, honest to god boat owners, use to float their boats?  Water, that's what.

So from henceforth whenever someone says, "Whatever floats your boat" to you assume they just yelled "WATER!" at your face and respond appropriately.

The Fine Print: And that is my prescription for good, clean living and the best social interaction money can buy, which of course since this was free advice isn't worth much.  Punches by Marvy, faux brad by Candi, patterned paper by Lawn Fawn "Dahne's Closet" and stamps possibly by Fiskars (I dunno, it is a clear set that lost the bag or topper it came with).

It's Summertime!

It's time again for the latest A Muse Studio Challenge and this time I get to be the hostess.  In honor of the ice breaking on the Santa Cruz River* this weekend, I thought this latest challenge should be all about summer!  I apologize in advance if you are still shoveling snow.  Try to think ahead to warmer times.... I promise they are coming!

Summer is a time to carefree and have fun! What do you do in the summer?  Summer is all about vacations, food, great times, and outdoor activities.  I work at a school so I still associate summer as a time with no school, even though my school has summer classes.  Summer students tend to be serious folk who know what they want so they don't need us around to hold their hands, so summer is a much more laid back time.


What does summer mean to you?  Summer here is about extreme heat and sunshine, wearing gloves to drive your car, and looking for the cool shady areas to while away the hours.  Tucson empties out in the summer as the university students and winter visitors all head home and many permanent residents leave for vacations in cooler locations.

So, for this challenge think of what summer means to you and make a card representing that.  You don't have to use A Muse Studio stamps but you get bonus points if you do.  Swing on by our Challenge Blog and link up your summery card today!

The Fine Print: *Having the "ice break on the Santa Cruz" means we hit 100 degrees for the first time that year.  All card products by A Muse Studio.  Bike Card: stamps used-Enjoy the Ride and Friends Fur-Ever (for the stamped grass that mostly got covered up); cardstock used-Bermuda, grass and papaya; Other supplies-Bermuda tiny pearls. Beach card: stamps used Grunged Sunrays and Life's a Breeze; cardstock used-ocean blue, cherry red ad sugar white; other info-sand is cocoa ink sponged on with a dauber.

What I Love About My Husband

Me: I am going to eat the left over fajitas.

Him: You can have whatever you want.

Me: Damn right, I can!

I love a man who knows what's what!

The Fine Print: All the card stuffs by Club Scrap "Peacock" kit.  I hope you like peacocks because I made over a dozen cards with this kit this weekend.  I mean,sure maybe you came to my blog looking for ideas using the latest Spotlight A Muse Studio sets, but sorry, all you get are peacocks.  A whole flock of them coming up!  Oh.  Okay, maybe a small taste of A Muse tomorrow but that's my limit.

What Chicks Dig

One time I went to dinner with various parts of my family and family friends.  My nephew and his friend were young 20-somethings and spent a better part of the evening discussing the cars they were working on.  We heard tales of shiny hubcaps, throaty mufflers, gleaming chrome, and various wing dings under the hood that would increase horsepower.  My little brother and his friend just kept smiling and nodding at each other, since they knew those were big concerns at that age because those were their concerns 20-odd years ago.

At some point in the evening my mother inquired why all this was important.  The answer, of course, was to impress chicks.  That really got my brother and his friend grinning.

Paul, the friend, leaned forward and asked the pair if they knew what kind of car chicks dug the most?  They made some guesses about high end sports cars that no one not a rock star or someone having a midlife crisis really drives.  "No, what chicks really dig are cars that run!"

All the real adults at the table burst out laughing.  The two kids, not so much.  They failed to see the humor in it, especially since neither of their cars actually ran.  And to boot, even if their cars did run neither of them held valid driver's licenses since they both lost them to youthful shenanigans.  They didn't have steady income to actually do all this mythical work on their cars or to do that other thing that chicks dig: go out on dates.

So there you have it.  What chicks really dig is cars that run.I know it gets this chick hot.  I'm fond of dudes who do housework too.

The Fine Print: That was when I knew my little brother had finally grown up and realized that reliable cars were more important than shiny gizmos and thumping stereos.  It is many, many years later and I still don't think my nephew has figured it out yet.Cards and part from Club Scrap "Birds of a Feather" kit.  Other pieces are Stampin Up ribbon, A Muse scallop border die, Prima Flowers and a Recollections brad.