Starving Children in Africa

I found myself dissecting a rotisserie chicken  to the Nth degree like I was an apocalypse survivor or perhaps a contestant on Naked and Afraid.  After I caught myself and had a good laugh I went back to blissfully wasting food, telling myself it isn't like there were starving children from Africa around.

That got me thinking the first time that line got used on me. It came from my paternal grandfather. You have to know that he was the head of his household and he served. Everyone sat down, said grace, and then he picked up a platter and filled it. You got the plate he filled for you.

You can bet that as a giant of a man used to a lifetime of manual labor, he put much more food on the plate than your average suburban kid needed. I remember my mom trying to curb his enthusiasm for piling our plates full. I also remember the withering slit eyed stare he gave her in return.

Anyway, there I was not cleaning my plate, which may be attributed to the massive quantities of food on it or it may be attributed to the fact that my grandmother insisted on making some mystery "relish salad" every meal. It was pink and lumpy and not something I would associate with food. My grandfather admonished me to clear my plate because there were starving children in Africa.

That stopped me in my tracks. I had to ponder that one. It did not compute. It went against all the other kid admonishments that I heard every day. You know, the ones about share your toys, help the less fortunate, blah, blah, blah...  But this... Now you're saying I have food and some kid doesn't, so I should eat mine up real fast????  It didn't seem real Christian.

Anyway, that's childhood for ya, filled with contradictory messages. And just so you know, I did clear my plate today. Twice. I did not share with any starving African children, but I did give some to a Siamese cat that was almost on death's door from hunger (or so she says).

The Fine Print: Stamp by Stampin' Up.

Enjoy the Ride. And No Vomiting.

I'm so sad right now. The every-2-hours-while-you-are-awake medicine I was using on my eye has done wonders until today. Now my eye is all twitchy twitch twitch and it makes me sad. Everyone keeps saying that my twitchy eye is stress (that is everyone but the actual eye MD). I wasn't stressed out in the least until my eye started going to town. Even the lousy meeting this morning wasn't bad at all as it actually had good and useful information at it (such a rarity) and I brought doughnuts making me the coolest coworker ever (so cool I got a green corn tamale as a reward).

And to top it all off my shoulder hurts so bad and it is well medicated too. I'm supposed to start physical therapy on it in about 10 days and I can't fathom how much that is going to hurt given how much having the shoulder doctor just look at my shoulder hurt. Okay, he touched it too, but really it was some nothing touching, not like a Vulcan nerve pinch or something. So maybe I am stressed out, not looking forward to someone manipulating my shoulder--someone I have to pay. But I don't really think so because I haven't been thinking about how much more my shoulder is going to hurt because that will make me cry and that's like crying before you even spilled the milk, which now that I think about it is something you aren't supposed to cry over anyway.

Life has so many rules! Don't run with scissors. Don't cry over spilled milk. Don't stab your coworkers..... What a hassle.

But here's a card which means that I found the jump drive all the photos of my cards are on. It wasn't really lost or anything. It just was always in the opposite place I was.  If I were here, it was there. And now we're all here, together.  You and me and the jump drive.

The Fine Print: Stamps by Lawn Fawn. Really fun paper by some company that makes little pads of fun papers.  Yep, I'm chock full of useful information today!   Now, I have a green corn tamale to go eat. Bye!

Super Duper Girl

Look! It's a bird! It's a plane! No! It's Super Duper Girl!

I made this card for an open-to-your-interpretation card exchange called "Crash, Boom, Bang." I think since this exchange is happening in July they were thinking fireworks, but Independence Day is over and done with so I opted for what popped into my brain--the sounds a comic book hero make when fighting the bad guys.

You know: Boom. Crash. Bang. Biff.  The "biff" is always a favorite one of mine.

Anywho, that's all I got for you today.

The Fine Print: Super hero girl by Mama Elephant, city dies by Memory Box, sky die by Stampin' Up (a sneak peak). 

Just Like Me!

It all started in my later high school years and carried on past that. People I know would say to me, "Oh you need to meet so-and-so, she's just like you!" Whatever that means.... (you are a unique and precious snowflake, just like everyone else). 

Anyway, within a short order of time I got the chance to meet three of those people who were "just like me" and guess what? I couldn't stand any of them. That begged the question though of if I was a lousy person whom no one could stand? So I asked my mother. Asking your mother if you suck is probably not the best way to get an unbiased answer, but she assured me that I was all right.

Perhaps I wasn't reassured by my mother because I later mentioned the whole sad story to a lady in a waiting room (complete stranger). She said it made sense that I wouldn't like people just like me because I already have me in my life and it would be better to have people who complement me or are different than me. That sounded plausible enough, however, it was something that sometimes crept into my brain from time to time and made me wonder.

Then the other day my friend excused herself during our lunch so she could grab a phone call. A quick minute later she was back. "That was my East Coast Judy," she said. What? She went on to explain that she had a friend on the East Coast who reminded her of me because she was just like me.

"Oh, you'd hate her though," she went on to explain.

Why?! "Well, because everyone knows you don't like people who are just like you!" Well, now I'm glad we've put that to rest. And why did it take me so long to accept it as gospel truth? Anyway, I'm glad I don't suck.

The Fine Print: Hedgies enjoying each other's company (because they have different personalities) stamp by Penny Black, corner punch by Martha, flowers by Prima, other stuff from my stash. 

Shazam!

Back in October I joined an ATC swap where the theme was masks. I'm sure they were aiming for Halloween costumes and the like but I like to march to the beat of a different trombonist sometimes.

The Fine Print: Stamps by Mama Elephant, super hero washi tape from Michaels. 

No Card Left Behind

I made this card for and exchange for my stamp club. The theme was "long ago and far away" which many interpreted as vintage but I thought sounded more like a fairytale.

I made it back when I was having a hard time stamping, like I'd lost all my skills. This was about the 4th or 5th castle I'd stamped. I colored it in very, very carefully because I didn't think I had it in my to stamp another one. Given my lack of skills I was impressed with how the front of the card came out. Then I decided to decorate the inside.

That dragon came out looking like a 5-year old colored it. He started life as a much lighter purple but kept getting darker and darker as I tried to cover up the streaks and mishaps.

Then to top it all off I forgot to bring the card with me when I went to my club meeting. Ah, heck!

The Fine Print: Stamps by Stampin' Up. BTW, I don't have bubonic plague and I haven't turned into a zombie yet. 

Hi Ho, Hi Ho

I may have shared this story with you before, but you'll just have to hear it again. Once upon a time within the last decade I took a Intermediate Algebra class. I got permission from work to adjust my schedule so I could take it in the middle of the day. You know who takes college classes in the middle the day????  College-aged students, that's who.

So there I was, the only old crusty person in the who class, surrounded by wet-behind-the-ears young 'uns. One day before class I was listening to the young lad next to me telling his friend this tale:

You know, you start kindergarten at age 5, then from there you go into elementary school. Then it's straight to junior high and high school. You graduate high school and jump right into college. Here I am in my second year of college, so I've been going to school every year of my life for the last fifteen years! 

Wow! I thought, "Holy crow!" I went straight from college to working at the college. That means I've been going to school every year of my life for the last *mumble*mumble* years of my life! That's like, an awful lot of school.

The Fine Print: *mumble*mumble* roughly translates to 44 years these days. Stamp and punches by Stampin' Up, designer paper from The Paper Cut, ribbon from my stash. Hi ho, hi ho, it's off to school I go, with razor blades and hand grenades, hi ho, hi ho!

Cookies!

So I wrote a post and scheduled to go live yesterday and now I see that Blogger ate it. Since it was about cookies I totally understand why it got eaten. I'm a big fan of cookies myself.

I'm such a big fan that as soon as we were given our mystery item last month I knew exactly what I was going to do with it--turn it into cookie monster eyes!

The mystery item was the white plastic pull tab from a milk carton (or two). I cut off the part you put your finger through, made some sharpie eyeballs on it and then made this punch art cookie monster. It was fun and easy.

The Fine Print: Various circle dies by Spellbinders, letter dies by A Muse Studio. Why, yes, I do still have my fingers left after cutting the pull tab apart with an Exacto knife. Have you been talking to my husband again?!

Happy Kids

I celebrated my birthday today. My birthday was actually this past Monday, but who celebrates anything to do with a Monday?! I couldn't celebrate before my birthday because it was one of those holidays where everyone and their mother comes out the woodwork.

So here's a photo of all the fun Joe and I had today.  Okay, I confess, those are stunt doubles, but you get the idea.

The Fine Print: Happy kids stamp by Imaginations.

We Have Ourselves a Reader...

Challenge #236 over at Shopping Our Stash is to make a card inspired by a book. Now then, I'm an avid reader but nothing came to mind that I could translate into a card. I'm sure after this challenge closes tons of things will come to mind.

Mostly I read true crime, biography, detective style mystery, and zombie stories. I came up with some weird ideas but lacked blood splatter and didn't feel yanking out the H'ween stamps for zombies. So I decided to go back in time when I was younger, more innocent and read things like nursery rhymes.

I have fond recollections of Hey, Diddle, Diddle, the cat and the fiddle and that cow jumping over the moon. There seems to be lacking a little laughing dog, but we definitely have a dish running away with the spoon.  I'd like to think the dish and the spoon are running towards the dishwasher, but I am known for flights of fancy.

Since I used a snippet of orange paper and that blue backing layer I'm heading out to Pixie's Snippet Playground as well to see if anyone knows the next line to this little ditty: Jack and Jill went up the hill, to do some hanky panky.

The Fine Print: Hey Diddle Diddle by Stampabilities, border punch by Martha, designer paper from DCWV and CTMH. Extra credit points if you know what the title of this post is referencing. 

Seas the Day and the Technique

Once upon a time in a galaxy not that far away, in fact, it was actually this one, I received a card and envelope all in one and declared it the coolest thing ever.  Back in those dark days you had to trace, cut, measure, and score all by hand without the help of machines or tools.

Now that we have machines, tools, and precise measurements already done for us I still declare this card one of the coolest things ever.  I just need to remember to do it more often.

The Fine Print: Pirate boy stamp by Lily of the Valley, greeting by A Muse Artstamps, envelope shape and notch tool courtesy of We R Memory Keepers, designer paper by Pebbles.

Out to Lunch

The other day my Nephew and his Friend stopped by for lunch.  Nephew had been making noises about "taking me to lunch" for a couple of weeks now so it wasn't that big of a surprise. In case you don't know his idea of "taking me to lunch" involves me driving and paying for it and listening to his plea for money.  I've been putting him off because I find his company and predictably tedious. However, this lunch was rather eye-opening for me.

Both kids are tickling 30 now and have been buddies on and off since grade school. I totally enjoyed the Friend's company. It was good talking to him. He talked of getting a better job and getting his life on track. We related various stories of car repairs and making decisions like buy groceries or fix the car. We had a long conversation about how many hours one had to work to be able to buy an $800 cell phone and all the other, better things $800 could buy. Friend and I discussed the value of getting a college education and how he could get back into the school I work at. We talked about friends who passed away.  You know, we discussed life.

Meanwhile Nephew sat off to the side making random movie quotes, commenting about the life of a Jedi, and talking about the upcoming Star Wars movie. Nephew asked me multiple times for money to buy a Jedi robe from a Halloween store. Basically he was the like annoying little kid trying to get attention from the grown-ups.  He was so out of touch and didn't even try to fit in.

Of course, Nephew has no practical experience on what we discussed. He has never held a job, never paid bills, never had to be accountable for his actions, and wouldn't know a responsibility if it bit him in the arse. However, he tried a stint in college and has had friends and family member pass away but yet he couldn't get his mind off the fantasyland of movies and Jedis and hitting me up for money long enough to join in our conversation.

As I said, it was eye-opening for me. I've known the kid was out of touch with the real world for quite some time but I had no idea how far out there he was. Nephew can no longer even relate to his own friend anymore. He's truly out to lunch.

The Fine Print: Stamps by Tim Holtz, school themed papers by the Paper Cut, apple punch by Martha, and apple brad from my stash. That cut is called a tri-shutter! Yes, I had help remembering that name.

First Day of School

Today is the first day of school where I work so masses of students are coming back. I've always enjoyed the first day of school and helping students get on the right track.

I do have to say those who try to help themselves are a much bigger joy to help than those who just show up and throw up their hands.  I don't know if they are used to mommy doing it for them or what. Some of them are quite pleased to be given so much freedom and others still want us to hold their hands.  I'm not always sure that students make my world a brighter place, but they certainly make it a busier place.

The Fine Print: Seriously, untie the apron string, you are not doing your kid any favors.  All products by A Muse Studio.  Stamps--School Supplies and Happy Thoughts; cardstock--toffee, eucalyptus and sugar; other supplies--buttercup tiny sequins, lemon whip loose glitter, and toffee twine.

The Same Old, Same Old

Do you ever get tired of having the same conversation over and over again?  I don't mean the one with your senile Aunt Fran who tells you for the 50th time about how she met her husband at the high school dance when he rescued her from that awful neighbor boy who was trying to take liberties.  Nor do I mean the one where you say "NO!" 400 times a day to your kid/cat/dog/spouse/etc as they go about their day causing naughtiness.

Round 'n round we go

No, I mean the one like where your friend with the history of dating serious losers calls you up to tell you all about the new man she met and includes stories of all the same warning signs that the last 6 boyfriends and 3 husbands had.  Then when you point that out to her she tells you that you are silly, you are wrong, and that it will be different this time.  Then you sigh and say whatever because it is the just the same old song, the same old dance.

Yeah, those kinds of conversations.

Anyway, this gal is tired of it and while I might appear to be playing along on the surface, I'm not. Don't be overly surprised if you find out that I've tuned you out in lieu of gluing pretty pieces of patterned papers together.

The Fine Print: That's my story and I'm sticking to it. I'll repeat that ad nauseum. Stamps by Lawn Fawn.  Enjoy the Ride!

All Must Bow

Oh yeah. Hmm... I guess I am supposed to update this thing from time to time, huh? Well, here's a card I recently finished and since it has reached its destination I can share it with you.

Despite all the desk tidying and reorganization I do I've managed to constantly have the same few unfinished cards on my desk for many, many months.  I decided I should just put the darn things together already and call it done. Apologies in advance if this sets off some cataclysmic events.

This card, except for the top layer, is one I assembled with friends at a informal make and take get together.  The black bits are printed on acetate and the blue is shimmery cardstock.  The top layer was to be finished off with a stamped image of a door done up in architect/blueprint style. I felt the door was too small for the space and didn't like the look of it stamped on the shimmery paper, so I took the card home without completing it.

There it sat until I pulled it out recently.  I substituted the top piece for a non-shimmery piece and stamped one of my more collage-y stamps on it. I felt it fit the rest of the card really good so I called it done. It really was that simple.... it just took me all those months to do it.

The Fine Print: Top stamp by Stamper's Anonymous (I think), all other parts by Club Scrap. And by "months" I just might mean years.

Tuesday

Here is a sweet little card to take your mind off the fact that today is Terrible Tattered Tasteless Trashy Tantrum Tuesday.

Or maybe that's just here.

The Fine Print: Stamp by Penny Black.

Bowties, Bojangles, and Bears on Bikes

I lied.  There aren't actually any bojangles in this post.  But there are some adorable little bow ties.

And even a bear on a bike.  Okay, so that's really a trike, but you know, close enough.

The bowties are from a SU Workshop that I did not attend this past Monday.  They were sweet enough to make me a card from the workshop though.  They were trying out the new bowtie punch from Stampin' Up.  The bear is from my deceased friend's stash.

The Fine Print: It's Friday, who cares about anything else!  Top card: everything by Stampin' Up; bottom card: nothing by Stampin' Up.  Yeah, that's all I got for you.

Not Dead Yet

Pretend I wrote something brilliant here.

The Fine Print: All the stuff is by A Muse Studio, except that blue spiral thing, which was a challenge item (get it before you know what it is and agree to use it).  I'm a sick puppy.  I do not have intestinal fortitude. If this keeps up I suspect I won't even have intestines.  ick.

Hey!

Hey Diddle Diddle!  I'm so excited that I'm about to pick up a fiddle and play along with this cat. Except for I'm not medicated enough to see cows jumping over the moon and dishes running away with spoons.  I did see a spork that was up to no good though.

The Fine Print: Nursery Rhyme stamp by Stampabilities, designer paper by DCWV, and ribbon from my stash.  I'm excited because my science class is over and I can have my life back, although I didn't really do much with it when I had it before, but at least it is all mine.

Dig It!

I joined an A Muse consultant swap and had so much fun. I really enjoyed it because well, swapping is fun and because we could only use A Muse Studio stuff.  It was good way to get ideas and sample cards from other creative minds.

This is the card I made.  The theme was to make a masculine card.  Some may say that this card is more appropriate to for a little boy but all men are little boys at heart.  Plus what man would turn down an opportunity to hop in a machine like this and take it for a spin?!

The Fine Print: All products by A Muse Studio.  Stamps used--Loads of Fun. Cardstock used--Sugar, onyx, orange petite polka dots. Other products--classic circle dies and onyx twinkle stickers.