Sunday, December 24, 2017

Stealing My Thunders

Hi, my name is Charles and I'm busy keeping watch for Santa Claus now.  See, I gotta set him straight on something that happened today.

My mom dropped her water bottle lid and it bounced off her foot and disappeared. She said, "Oh no, Charles, Help me!" So I crawled around on the floor with her and we looked and looked for the lid but it was gone.

I told my mom a idea I had, "Get the stick, Mom! Get the Stick! The stick! The stick!" and I ran down the hall to where the stick lives in the closet. Mom got the stick out and then she fished around under the stove. I helped her move the stick so it would right. Just when the lid was about to come out from under the stove my little brother, Dio, reached in and grabbed it with his paw and gave it to her.

"Thank you, Dio!" she squealed, "You are the best cat ever!"

Now he's all saying that Santa is bringing him all the presents and none for me. That's not right! I did all the work. I crawled on the floor and I told my to get the stick and I helped her use the stick. Dio just took all the credit. Well, so I have to tell Santa how it really went down.

I hope your Christmas is merry!

The Fine Print: The stick is a yardstick bought for the express purpose of fishing cat toys out from under things. I got it from the hardware store. They keep them in the locked cage with the drills and other expensive tools because a good yardstick is worth its weight in gold. Happy holidays!

Tuesday, December 19, 2017

Retro Christmas

I started this post near the end of November with the intention of linking it with the latest Rudolph post, but then there was a shiny thing and I got distracted....

I figured out my problem...  I guess I should explain that a little better in that I figured out one of the many, many, many problems I have. This one won't solve world hunger or even my own hunger, but at least I "get it" a little better. "It" being why I can't make Christmas cards this year.

This has been a year-long problem and I don't get what is blocking me. Many people say that it's the heat and yeah Christmas and 92 F don't really go together even here in Southern Arizona but it isn't like I'm sitting out in a splash of sunshine trying to make cards. My craft room is the coldest room in the house and it has long since been woolen undies, mittens and hot cocoa weather in there.

This weekend it hit me that it was over abundance of holiday crap craft stuff that makes me stop in my tracks when it comes to making Christmas cards. I have drawers and boxes and bins of stamps, a good 3 pounds of holiday DSP, enough holiday embellishments to open a booth at the fair, a garbage bag full of ribbon, an insane amount of holiday punches and dies and so many wonderful complicated ideas swirling around in my head it is no reason I put it all away and go back to reading my book.

So, anyway, I pulled out limited supplies and made these cards. So yeah, sometimes less IS more. And other times more is not enough. Happy Christmas card making!
The Fine Print: Stamps by Stampin' Up, papers and random embellishments from my copious stash (which isn't so copious now that I took a bunch of it to share at a holiday card making crop). 

Monday, December 18, 2017

The First Three Letters Spell...

I have lost 8 pounds on my diet so far, but I confess that it is starting to make me a bit loopy. The other day I came up to one of my coworkers and said, "Talk dirty to me."

Taken aback they answered, "Um.... what do you want me to say?"

In a sultry voice I answered, "Tell me what you ate for lunch...."

Ooh, baby!
The Fine Print: During the weigh in be sure to remove your bundled layers otherwise you'll be horrified by the gain. No need to remove your earrings unless you tend to wear bricks for earrings. Stamp by Taylored Expressions, dies by Spellbinders, and all the other stuff from my stash. 

Friday, December 8, 2017

Come Prepared

My coworker and I were heading down to a meeting today when she hesitated. I could see that she was deep in thought. "What's up?" I asked.

"Should I bring a pen to this meeting? It's not like they say anything noteworthy..." She asked.

"Oh, I always bring a pen," I answered.


"You never know when you'll need to write a suicide note."

And that about sums up our meeting. I took some very good notes today though (click it to biggify):

And on a completely different note here's a card I made:
The Fine Print: We're not having a snow day but we are having our first cold day of the season and we're all whining like little bitches. Penguin by Art Impressions, snowflakes by Memory Box and A Muse Studio.

Tuesday, November 21, 2017

Dancing the Night Away

Hi! My name is Cindy and I'm gonna write this blog post today because my momma she doesn't write blog posts any more and peoples are starting to worry about her.
Anyway, you shouldn't worry about my momma because she is just fine. She is just busy doing other things that are not making cards. Like the other day she was busy petting me and then the other other day she wented to the swimmings pool and today she going to go dancing like she has rhythm or something. Oh my! I can't imagine how funny that must look.
I bet it looks a lot like this sassy lady here, only you gotta imagine that all the other peoples dancing have their other arm up and are facing the other way. That's how my mom does it, opposites all the way.

The Fine Print: Sassy lady by Stampin' Up. Cindy's original name was Sassy but since she didn't want to be named after a Disney character she had her name legally changed. First she had to sign a paper that said she wasn't a terrorist. And usually she isn't. 

Monday, November 6, 2017

Things Adults Don't Know

I recently read an article about things people had to tell other adults that was surprising. Some of them were real doozies, like once you cross the equator in an airplane you plane is not upside down and if you are standing on an island in the Pacific Ocean all the water you see is the Pacific Ocean. That body of water in the direction that the sun rises out of is not magically the Atlantic Ocean.

Others weren't so earth-shattering like people who didn't understand why once you added up the amounts of their payments it was more than the car sold for (interest, people!). The one I encounter isn't so earth shattering but is kind of perplexing. Then again I didn't grow up in the cell phone age.

I work at a reception desk for our department. We have an extra phone there for when people need to borrow a phone. Much like any phone in a rather public area it doesn't call long distance. So when people ask to borrow the phone we always tell them it doesn't call long distance and most of them respond that it is local. (The few who don't we send off to another place where there is a phone that dials long distance.)
The person using the phone will dial and hang up and dial and hung up and look perplexed and finally ask us why their call won't go through. When we ask what number they are dialing they invariably tell us a 10-digit number and we remind them you can't make long distance calls from. At that point a few people get that they need to drop the area code of their number and try again but most just look at you blankly like a deer in headlights.

Usually they get it when you further explain you drop the 520 (our area's area code). I had one person who asked what that meant so I explained that 520 meant the phone number was based out of Southern Arizona and that on a landline if you were calling it, you just ignored it. That just made it worse for her because then how does she get calls on her 520 number when she is out of state. *sigh*

The Fine Print: Stamps, dies and things by Stampin Up except the greeting by A Muse Studio.

Tuesday, October 31, 2017

Happy Pumpkin Day!

I'm going out on a limb and say that the Stephanie Bernard Sizzix Fold-it Pumpkin die was really popular this year.  I base that assumption on the contents of my mailbox this season:

Monday, October 30, 2017

Almost Halloween

I figure I'd better share the Halloween cards I made this year or else I'll have to save them until next year. I'm sure they would be stale by then, just like candy corn.

Then I got really ambitious and made this Halloween waterfall card.

The Fine Print: The local grocery store started selling candy corn in early September. When I laughed about it, I was told that it had been in the back room for 2 months already and the manager wanted it out of there. So no one can tell me that candy corn is fresh, ever. Top card: greeting by PSX, owl and papers by Stampin' Up, second card all by SU, third card monster by Paper Smooches, chipboard topper from K and Co., dracula card 3D stickers by Recollections, waterfall card stamps by SU. 

Sunday, October 29, 2017

Happy Cat Day!

I asked the kids if they wanted to do anything special for National Cat Day. They said they already had big plans.

Saturday, October 28, 2017

Last Day

How sad is that that today is the last day for the Cat Lovers Hop? I decided that I had to show off my newest cat stamp from last month. I kept the project sweet and simple today (just like me! [don't laugh]) . Isn't he just a sweetie?!
But before you go, I want to share with a you a picture from a few years back. I pulled out some stamping storage to make room for bigger and better storage and in true cat fashion Dio had to go sit in the place where the furniture had come out from. He also found something I lost under there and saved it to show me when I peeked over at him.
Look! Mom! I found your paper spider!

Yeah, that's enough to give you a heart attack, isn't it?!

The Fine Print: Simple Elegance cat stamp by Carabelle Studio.

Friday, October 27, 2017

Quiet Time

It's time for the Cat Lovers Hop again, but this time, shhh..... me and Dio and Cindy, we're all relaxing and taking it easy today.

The Fine Print: Stamps by Newton's Nook. And no, I'm not really getting to relax and take it easy today. I don't doubt that Cindy and Dio are though. I mean they are cats, that's what they do. 

Thursday, October 26, 2017

Big Cats

Today is Day 4 of the Cat Lovers Hop over at Janis' place. If you like cats you really should check it out.... lots of people sharing their felines. 
I have big cats to share with you today. This is the maiden voyage for this stamp that I got many, many months ago. I love Laurel Birch designs and I love to color so this was the stamp for me.
It is kind of a big stamp though so one you use it you can't do much else with it. I did decide to make a bigger card with it too so I could have a couple of layers. It's actually not that much bigger as I went from A2 to A6.
That's my offering for today, but before I go here's a little cat with a big purrsonality.
The Fine Print: Jungle cats stamp by Stampendous/Laurel Birch.

Wednesday, October 25, 2017

Oh, The Irony

No cat story today for the Cat Lovers Hop, but one that will have you reaching for the nip.

Today I learned that my employer is doing one of those really stupid things that would make any sane person face palm themselves so hard they break their nose.

So I broke the shackles to my desk and wandered off to a trusted coworker to complain about situation. He laughed and asked me, "Are you saying you're not 'Team OurEmployer'???!"

I answered, "Of course I'm not 'Team OurEmployer' they only pick the fat, out-of-shape kids because they feel bad for them. That's no way to run a business!"

Then I went back to my office and answered the phone. They wanted to schedule a professional development workshop in my conference room.  Professional development means it is for the employees, not our customers.  The name of the workshop: Suicide Prevention.


And here's today's cat card. It is a waterfall card so lots of different pictures to show off the different sections of it.

The Fine Print: Cat face stamps by Hero Arts, cat accessory stamps by either SU or CTMH. 

Tuesday, October 24, 2017

Halloween Cat

Hi. My name is Cindy and it's like cat blog hopping thing again today so I thought I'd tell you a little about myself. I'm very soft and pretty and loveable but there are rules. One of the rules is I get 400 attentions every day or else then I cause troubles.

The best thing ever is my favorite toy--it is a fish plushie. My mom's friend gived it to me when my mom's fish died. My mom seems to think it was for her. My mom steals my planet Mercury squishie ball all the time so I can have her fish. His name is Norman. I have a red big nosed mousie too and he is the best thing ever.

I like to eat salad, because a girl has to watch her figure. That's me in the picture after I finished my salad. I like spring mix. It is the best thing ever. Sometimes I eat spinach. That's the best thing ever too. Don't give me iceberg because that's not even real lettuce. I eat cheese too and that's the best thing ever. Did you know I just learned that crab meat is the best thing ever? I just had some for the first time this weekend and now I have to have some all the time. I put an order in on the grocery list. I can tell time and when the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 5 I get my dinner. I have to remind my mom because she can't tell time.

I have a best friend ever and his name is Joel. He flies around outside in circles and circles really fast. He is a mummingbird. I'm not allowed outside because dad says there are dragons out there. Joel says he saw one once and it said "City Bus" on the side. How scary!

Oh, do you want to know what is the best thing ever?  It's this Halloween card my mom made:
Did that spook you? That's good because it is Halloween time and you are supposed to be spooked. And give me treats.
That's the end.
The Fine Print: Zombie baby from the Spirit Store, stamps from Stampin' Up, embossing folder by Tim Holtz. 

Monday, October 23, 2017

Dear Cat, the Earth is Tilting

The Cat Lovers Hop has started! I hope you are emotionally prepared for all things catty for the next few days.  In honor of the CLH I have a cat story for you.
Every morning I find myself explaining to the cat about axial tilt and seasonal changes. Explaining that to a cat is rather like explaining quantum physics to... to... a 50 year old school secretary.

See, Charles likes to see the sunshine streaming in through the kitchen window in the morning. He trots around chirping and purring until you open the blinds. Then he rushes over the wall where the sunshine hits. What he really likes about the sunshine is the shadows it makes as it comes through the various plants and things on the porch. He likes windy days when the shadows move. He likes it when I make my lunch and cause shadows in his stream of sunshine. He really likes it when my sparkly bracelet catches a ray and leaves sparkly bits all over the walls and ceilings.

But alas, the seasons are changing and every morning Charles escorts me down the hall to the kitchen telling me about his day and how he just can't wait to see the sun and how I'm the best mom ever for inviting the sun into our house.  Then I open the blinds and no sun.

No sun! Then Charles has an emotional meltdown that parents of toddlers will recognize. He squawks, he chirps, he runs around after me and runs back to the wall still devoid of shadows. He will not let me be until I fix it. For awhile there I got away with telling Charles the sun was sleeping in and will be by to visit soon, but now the tilt is too far for the sun to reach into the kitchen window.

I feel bad for Charles because you can see how upset he is. So this morning I was pleased when I noticed out the front window that sun had gotten up and was making long shadows across the front yard. "Charles, Charles! Come here! Your friend the sun is playing in the front yard today!" Charles came running because he comes when you call, expecting great things of you. Charles leaped into the window and saw the sunbeams. He was really happy.

That is right up until he realized those shadows weren't doing anything. They weren't moving the wind (since there wasn't any), his mom wasn't going to walk through them as she made her lunch and no mysterious bracelet sparkles were going to show up to entertain him.
Then with a crashing of gears, motors and metal the trashmen turned onto our street. "Oh look, Charles! The Green Men are here!" Charles watched with fascination as this huge noisy truck reached out an arm, plucked up the garbage can from across the street and dumped into the big hole in it's back. Charles quivered and looked at me in alarm. If he could talk, you just know he'd say, "Mom! The Green Men are taking those people's things! They are talking those people's things!" I know Charles would say that because he is concerned whenever the Blue Men come and take "the important things Dad put in that blue bin" in front of our house.

So for whatever reason I decided to explain it to Charles in kid-talk. I told him that both the Green Men and the Blue Men liked to get presents so we put presents in green or blue bins and put them on road for them to come get. I reminded him how everyone likes presents, which Charles could relate to. When I left that morning, Charles was sitting in the window waiting for the Blue Men to come get presents his Dad left them on the sidewalk in the blue bin. You could see the wheels turning in his little cat brain. I'm sure he was wondering if there were cat treats or fuzzy balls in the blue bin. After all, those are the best presents.

The Fine Print: Greeting stamp by Stampin' Up, stickers from Recollections, other stuff from my stash. BTW, the Green Men don't come down our side of the street, they visit us in the alley, but Charles doesn't care what happens in the alley. 

Thursday, October 19, 2017

Don't Be An Administrator

The other day at work, a coworker was trying to get suggestions on what to bring to a function she was going to that weekend. It was a potluck type of thing and she wanted to bring something substantial. We were batting around ideas when one of our peers said, "Whatever you do, just don't be an administrator."
That made us all laugh. See, where we work administrators, you know those folks whose salary has six digits before the decimal point, proudly offer to bring the soda. They show up with a few 79-cent bottles of no-name, half-flat soda from the Dollar Store and act like they've saved the day. Meanwhile the housekeepers, who squeak by on minimum wage and no benefits, bring dozens and dozens of homemade tamales that they spent all night beating the meza all night on a rock by the river.

So whatever you do, just don't be an administrator.

Unless of course you are already an administrator then offer to bring the tequila, but for god sake's make it top shelf and bring plenty.
The Fine Print: I forgot to mention that administrators also leave said soda in the car all day until the event so every cup requires enough ice to sink a ship. Party pigs and parts by Stampin' Up.