I am a Lamp

I just got over a cold. Now I have asthma. This happens every spring, probably because I'm allergic to yellow and spring is full of yellow.

Anyhow, given the lack of oxygen situation, I decided for a career change. I'm gonna be a lamp for awhile. No breathing required.

The Fine Print: Stamps by Taylored Expressions, DSP and ribbon by Stampin' Up.

The First Three Letters Spell...

I have lost 8 pounds on my diet so far, but I confess that it is starting to make me a bit loopy. The other day I came up to one of my coworkers and said, "Talk dirty to me."

Taken aback they answered, "Um.... what do you want me to say?"

In a sultry voice I answered, "Tell me what you ate for lunch...."

Ooh, baby!

The Fine Print: During the weigh in be sure to remove your bundled layers otherwise you'll be horrified by the gain. No need to remove your earrings unless you tend to wear bricks for earrings. Stamp by Taylored Expressions, dies by Spellbinders, and all the other stuff from my stash. 

Mailbag Tuesday?!

I tried in vain multiple times yesterday to update my blog and the powers that be conspired against me. I was willing to lay the blame right on Blogger's feet where it so often goes, but in hindsight, I think it was Firefox who steered me wrong.

And here is my September calendar:

And that is about all there is for today because today is Tuesday but since yesterday was a holiday it is really a Monday in disguise. Those are alway so tricky and mean.

Advice From Dio

Hi, I'm Dio and I'm gonna be your guest columnist today. As a Life Coach I kin give you sum excellent advice. Here is sum now: It is okay to be lazy, but sometimes you gotta move around a little bit so the vultures don't eat you.

See, the clouds were being rilly lazy this morning. I s'pose it is okay because dey were rilly buzy last making growls and lights and rainings. But if they don't git up soon, vultures might eat them.

My mom made this pretend pickture of me. It's called an Ay Tee See. She made a whole bunches of them.

The Fine Print: Window die by Taylored Expressions, cat die by Memory Box, scenery stamp and brick embossing folder by Stampin' Up.

August!

It's August now in case you haven't noticed.  I guess that makes it the dog days of summer. I asked the cats what they thought of that and they just shrugged. Apathy has set in.

The Fine Print: Stamps and calendar by Taylored Expressions.

Tag, You're It

My stamp club does a tag swap each month when we meet. I don't usually play along mostly because it slips my mind and also I'm not really a tag kind of person.

I played this month though because the theme was "Life's a Journey" and a tag by any other name is a bookmark. That just worked too well together for me to pass up.

Not the best photo because I took it in the middle of a thunderstorm in the dark under my desk lamp which gives off some sort of unearthly light, but you get the idea.

The Fint Print: Stamps by Taylored Expressions, tag topper punch by Stampin' Up, threads 'n stuff from my stash. 

July 4th

Happy July 4th no matter where you are or what you're doing. Hopefully it is something fun.

I made my July calendar so now I know what the date is. It's the 4th in case you didn't catch that.  The 11th has a star because it is a little known national holiday--hubby's birthday. 

The Fine Print: Teddy bear stamp by Stampin' Up, calendar and elephant stamp by Taylored Expressions.

June!

I meant to share my June calendar with you yesterday since it was the first day of June but it was a much too busy day for me. So here it is now. I'm ready to get my beach babe on! Hey, did you hear the best way to get a bikini body? You take a bikini and put it on your body!

Here's a fishy card because that fits in with our swimming theme (you didn't even know we had a theme, did you?!).

The Fine Print: Calendar and stamps by Taylored Expressions. Fishy card parts by Basic Gray, their pets card kit of which I have two and the scrapbook kit so at some point I must have planned to do great things with pets. 

April 1st

We don't play jokes on each other on April Fool's Day. If you want to know why, you need to read yesterday's post in which Mister Princess tells you the secret to a successful marriage. April 1st falls under the category of "holiday."

Anyway, this calendar is fooling us a bit. We don't really do April Showers. If we do do them though, this is an accurate portrayal of them--sunshine and clouds all at the same time.

The red dot is my stamp club day. For some reason I felt compelled to mark them all down.... and now some dates have changed. I probably should have marked my mother's birthday instead. That's probably not going to change.

The Fine Print: All products by Taylored Expressions except for the background paper from my stash. And the ink which used to be a gimme but now TE has their own ink. 

March

Lookie! Lookie! It's a new month! And I'm going to assume that it is coming in like a lamb, well, like two lambs... well, like two lambs dancing in a pasture of greenery and flowers after they've had their allergy pills.  Yeah, that's what I'm hoping this month will be like.

The 25th is marked so I won't forget my big stamp club meeting (as if they'd let me). The 15th is noted since it is Mr. and Princess Palmer's 25th wedding anniversary. Twenty five years is a long time to put up with someone else, isn't it? I don't know how he does it!

The Fine Print: Calendar, stamps and dies by Taylored Expressions, background paper by DCWV.

BYOS

Our wonderful weather is taking a downward slid. It looks like we'll have to truck in some sunshine if we want to have a pleasant weekend.

Yep, it's a BYOS--bring your own sunshine--kind of situation.

The Fine Print: Stamps by Taylored Expression, bow die by Stamp Doctor, and designer paper by someone cool. 

T.G.I.F.!.

Thank God It's February!

I thought January would never, ever end.

The Fine Print: All products by Taylored Expressions except solid heart and background paper.

Tommy T

Except for shivering all day yesterday  (it's cuz we had a couple 80 degree days so the powers that be turned the air conditioning to the summer setting even though the forecast said it was just a fluke), I had a really wonderful day.

That is until I had to go home. I hobbled out to the parking lot (I hurted my foot) and groaned when I saw the ridiculous truck I had to drive home in:

This thing is a tank only I suspect tanks are less rattly and have a better turn radius. Anyway, this is the rental car I'm driving for the next few days while my truck gets fixed (Tommy T Toyota got backed into in a parking lot). I need to weigh another 200 pounds, have 3-5 uncontrollable kids, and fill the inside with fast food wrappers and soda cans before I can do this truck justice. It's all about excess... it takes up excess space, it requires excess gas to drive, and takes an excessively long time to stop.

I can't wait to get my cute little Tommy T Toyota pick up truck back. In fact I might have a homecoming party for him when he comes back and give him this card. Maybe I'll even reward him with extra premium gas.

The Fine Print: Tank by Nissan, red truck and sunshine by Taylored Expressions, flower ribbon from A Muse and chevron paper from my stash. 

Smiles and Giggles

My friend sent me this funny email today:

A SENIOR’S PERSPECTIVE OF FACEBOOK - By Mike Harnett

 

For those of my generation who do not, and cannot, comprehend why Facebook exists: I am trying to make friends outside of Facebook while applying the same principles.

 

Therefore, every day I walk down the street and tell passersby what I have eaten, how I feel at the moment, what I have done the night before, what I will do later and with whom.

 

I give them pictures of my family, my dog, and of me gardening, taking things apart in the garage, reading the paper, watering the lawn, standing in front of landmarks, driving around town, having lunch, and doing what anybody and everybody does every day.

 

I also listen to their conversations, give them the "thumbs up" and tell them I like them.

 

And it works just like Facebook.

 

I already have four people following me: two police officers, a private investigator, and a psychiatrist.

Her story definitely made me smile, because Facebook does not transfer to real life at all. Unfortunately photographs don't capture that good either as this card is a lot cuter in person with its bright and happy colors.

I hope you are smiling today. Beware of those random followers!

The Fine Print: Cat stamp and heart border by Taylored Expressions, scalloped border die by A Muse Studio, circle die by Spellbinders, and scalloped circle punch by Stampin' Up. 

The New Calendar

Now that the year has changed it is time for a new calendar. I have a little one in my craft room that shows the dates and precious little else because of its teeny size.

I've often admired the calendar critters, calendar critter accessories and calendar blanks that Taylored Expressions sold. So this year during one of the black Friday, Plaid Saturday, Chartreuse Sunday, or Manic Monday sales I splurged and got them for myself.

This is my January calendar, featuring the bitterly cold weather that January brings with her. I bought a cheap plastic standing frame from the dollar store to house it in. The calendar itself is 3"x4" but since my frame is 5"x7" I had room to add a patterned paper background which is mounted on a piece of white cardstock.

The photo is taken in the dreary gray mush that passes for sunshine this time of the year, so you get what you get. The red dot is my big stamp club meeting date. Since I'm in charge of it I'd be lynched if I missed it.

This here is card showing Cindy ringing in the new year. She got a bit tipsy on milk as you can see. Hope your day is happy and that you aren't too hungover. Remember the dog that bit you and drink his hairs.... I never did understand that cure.

The Fine Print: Calendar and parts by Taylored Expressions--Calendar Critters, Calendar Build a Scene, and Ready Set Snow (the trees). Card stamps and dies by Tim Holtz--Crazy Cats and Crazy Accessories. The pressure is on.... I now have 31 days to make my February calendar.

Fall Gatefold

I saw a tutorial for a double fold gate card not too long ago and had to try it out. That worked out quite nice. So I thought I'd make another one.

I started out by thinking myself insanely clever by not looking up the directions and making it from wonderful steel-trap memory.  Yeah, that didn't go so well... but I did come up with an interesting card base that I'm sure you'll see at some point.

I scratched that one, pulled out the directions and made this one. Once you have the directions, the hardest part of this card is finding double sided cardstock that will work nicely for this style. You know, it has to be thick enough to make a decent cardbase and the patterns different enough to tell apart but not jarring.

The Fine Print: Double sided CS from my stash, card topper by unknown, greeting by Stampendous, squirrel and nuts by Taylored Expressions, leaf stickers from my stash. 

Another Day Another Dollar

So every year I break out this same delightful stamp set and every year I made a card that basically looks like this:

In case you don't believe here are the previous incantations of this same stamp set:

So I decided to break out of the mold and do something completely wild and crazy. Check this out:

I sure showed them, huh? Purple! How do like that?!

The Fine Print: Stamp by Taylored Expressions "Sunflower Bouquet."

Celebrate Freedom!

And celebrate that is is Friday!

Our department is having a BBQ lunch with potluck sides in honor of Independence Day and because it is Friday which is slow because it is summer school time. There is an international component to our school and it was suggested that we invite some international students so they could partake in a real American tradition.

Except for that we are having Sonoran Dogs, which is a Mexican street dog, and by that I mean a Mexican version of a hot dog, not that we are eating chihuahuas. That's probably not a real American tradition except in this city on this side of town.

The Fine Print: Stamps by Taylored Expressions, designer paper by DCWV, vellum and star eyelets from my stash. Srly, try this Sonoran Dog thing. You'll be glad you did. Start with a traditional Mexican bolillio bun or lacking that one of those fancy thick bakery hot dog buns, add some pinto beans, a regular old hot dog wrapped in a strip of bacon, some diced tomato, some diced onion, mustard, mayo, and jalapeno sauce (or not if you're not from these parts). 

It's the Little Things

I was just thinking the other day, which is a dangerous hobby no matter how you slice it. Anyway, I was pondering what it is that suddenly made me care about the little things that don't really matter. I decided it was moving to a new house and having everything be neat and shiny.

Now that I care about the little things that don't really matter I have to do annoying chores like get my truck washed. That's right, for the first time in over a decade my truck got a bath! And no, it was not the dirt holding the thing together. Next up, I'm going to get me some new, non-scuffed up shoes. Then I'll probably sit down and rest for a few weeks.

The Fine Print: Stamp by Taylored Expressions, designer paper by DCWV, paper flower, brad, and zig zag ric rack from my stash.

No Business Like Snow Business

Before we take off on this journey that is my Merry Monday Challenge post I'd just like to remind everyone that SNOW is a four-lettered word.

I'll still make a card for this challenge, but I wanted to be sure you knew where I stood on the subject of snow (as far away from it as humanly possible, that's where I stand!). However, these critters weren't quite so lucky and here they are standing in drifts of the white stuff.

I broke out with some glossy cardstock for this one and added some cool chunky clear glitter to help get the chilly feel across. That's not a camera glare there; that's you going snowblind!  Yep, that's my story and I'm sticking to it!

The Fine Print: Holiday Grumpling stamps by Taylored Expressions (do I really not own the dies for these??!), Snowy Day background and tree landscape dies by A Muse Studio, large snowflake punch by Martha.