Sunday, October 18, 2015

Super Size THIS!

Since the employee population where I work is old, fat, and terribly unhealthy our human resources department is always trying to do something about it. They offered a gift card for a wellness check earlier this year (so we could know just how bad off we really are), they only allow healthy foods at any employee function, and they offer tips, like this gem:

Employee Wellness Activities
Did You Know?
Walking sideways burns 78 percent more calories than walking forward. Lateral motion takes extra effort by working your body in unfamiliar ways. Try adding this in to your regular fitness routine for some variety.

I can just see all us employees scuttling about the campus sideways now.... and students fleeing in terror.  It makes for a great visual.
The Fine Print: Any bets before HR starts fielding a large amount of claims for broken bones and dislocated body parts? Fattening stamps by Paper Smooches.

8 comments:

Bad Kitty said...

great card

Sandy said...

I have a stress fracture in my foot and I'm wearing a surgical boot. The best way to get up and down stairs is sideways, and it does seem to take a lot more effort (well that, and the boot seems to weigh 10 lbs). So, they might be on to something, but you're right, it looks really stupid.

Sandy said...

By the way, I love this card. The stamps are a hoot. Is this for your YOLO swap?

Carol L said...

I've been going up/down steps backwards and sideways since I had both hips replaced, and I'm still old and fat! LOL There's no hope for me I suppose, but I'm sick of people trying to fit everyone into their ideal mode of healthy living and perfection! I choose to live my life as an individual and have no time for those who choose to judge me by my size! Pfft!

Fun card BTW, and here's the best part - I don't eat fast food! LOL

Greta said...

You made me laugh! Gotta wonder about some of those supposed health tips! Fun card, Judy!

Angie said...

I am soooo laughing at this post! Since I am putting on a few too many pounds perhaps I will try walking sideways today!!! LOL I love your YOLO card! Burgers, Fries and coke are my favorite things!!!! Super cute card!

Leslie Hanna said...

I just had visions of an entire hallway of people waling sideways like crabs. Do you need to be crabby to walk like a crab? And I agree on the potential increase in broken bone claims.

I'm fortunately not a fast-food junkie. :) I avoid fast food at all costs. Hmmm, now that we have a drive-through Panera, is it fast food?

Bonnie said...

You have been busy since I last stopped by! Very interesting idea to walk sideways. Can't imagine why it would burn more calories! Seems kind of dangerous to me. Maybe you burn the calories picking yourself up off the floor! Love the card! Looks like a good lunch to me.