Sunday, October 14, 2012

Counter Response

Today I met this very paranoid person in the laundry room.  He was quite upset that I took his clothes out of the dryer that had stopped 10 minutes ago and folded then.  He was upset that I touched them.  And for the record, his clothes weren't anything special and I never once sniffed the crotch of anything. Never mind that they were clean and I have no sense of smell, that ain't my thang. 
But old Brad, he wouldn't let it go and wouldn't accept my apology.  He ranted on and on and on very out of proportion for the situation.  He went on to say that the next thing I'll be doing is taking his wet clothes out of the dryer to use his time up.  That makes no sense because our dryers are free.  But it did make me think to myself, "No, Brad, if I wanted to mess with you like you seem to think I want to, I would take your clothes out of the dryer and pee on them."   Because I'm that kind of girl.  And I have to pee a lot.  And once you let it known that you are that irrationally paranoid I have an over-whelming urge to mess with you.  
Over dinner I told my husband about Brad the Paranoid and he said that probably Brad was posting to his blog about how the Gang Stalkers were indeed after him as evidenced by how they sullied his clothes today.  So I said I'd have to post my counter response and here it is.  But yes, Brad, even though I just met you, I am after you.  Tonight, I'm going to break into your apartment and watch you as you sleep.  I may even touch your toothbrush.

The Fine Print: I touched my husband's clean clothes, took them out of the dryer, and folded them today too, becuase I figured once you're headed for Hell you might as well make a trip of it.  He was disappointed I didn't run them between my legs or rub them up against my naked breasts.  Patterned papers by DCWV, border punch by Martha, frog stamps by Inky Antics, greeting by Hero Arts, scalloped squares by Marvy.  Crap how many weridos do you think the words "sniffed the crotch," "naked breasts" and irrationally paranoid" are going to bring to my blog?  What the heck, the more the merrier!


Lunch Lady Jan said...

I'm never going to make an enemy for sure, that's for sure!! Have you got any Celtic blood in your ancestry? Us Welsh folk can get mighty heated about things.... :D
Good luck dealing with the fallout from you Rude Words, lol!
Hugs, LLJ xxxx

Di said...

Hilarious! Sorry, but I laughed out loud at your little 'altercation' - it's the way you tell it :) And I'm with Jan, your visitor rating could well go sky high and you need a strategy to deal with it!

Love those froggies :)


Queen Lightwell said...

I read this post back when you posted it and have no idea why I didn't comment then because it is hilarious! Some people, though...Bad Brad sounds like he was having a really *off* day! But it sounds like you know how to let things like this roll off your back and into a mud puddle where you can splash and play a bit. ;) Yeah for the Princess!!! I'm putting this event in your "win" column. :)